As of late I have been able to dedicate myself to a lot of positive things. I became a member of my church recently and decided to dedicate my life to Christ. I am dedicated to learning about how to date, be a better person, getting out of debt and a bunch of other things. But Yesterday I was attending a good friend of mines fundraiser. I hadn’t supported her in her campaign efforts since God knows when. She has been running for city council and I have totally been MIA. Yesterday I realized how much I had been out of touch and I felt a pain in my stomach and I felt like i had failed a friend.
I always preach about friends this and that but how much of a friend have I been as of late?? Probably not a good one because just like the people i complain about I ACT LIKE just on a different level. Today I realized it and it hurt me bad but I had to own up to it so I could face it an deal with it. Just because I messed up doesn’t mean I can’t make it right, right???
So I called up my girlfriend and apologized as best I could (cuz i suck at this) and told her I would do my best to help her from this point on. She said it was ok but you know deep down actions speak louder than words. So I thought of one area I KNEW she always needed help and the only real area i knew how to help with was with the children. I told her I would come get the kids the next day and she was very grateful. See my friend always knew she needed help but she isn’t one to ask especially when it comes to her children because she feels like she shouldn’t have to “Ask” if you really cared about them that way. I can’t actually blame her to a certain extent but I know if it was me I would call err body to come watch my kids lol. Anywhoot…..
I promised myself that I would go and watch the kids a few times a week until the election is over. That is the least I can do as a friend and she is just that kind of person that would do the same for you.
So for the next 2 months this is one BIG thing I am going to dedicate myself to and ask God everyday to keep me and the kids safe cuz uh lawd knows I love the kids but ummm im no suzie home maker lol. I think it should be fun spending a lot of time with them and hopefully can learn from this experience. I want to be a person that people can depend on and I also want to follow through with things I say I am going to do. This is my second chance.
Well my fellow blogger friends, Since I moved my rants and raves about debt over to my friends site I can now get back to the business of talking about other stuff! Sorry the debt stuff just over came me!!
Anyways yesterday I was talking to my good friend about people we used to sleep with and why. He went on to describe a girl that was all of about a -8 outta 10 in the looks department and he had no intentions on ever I repeat EVER being in a relationship with her. As all woman, we think men will sleep with just about anything walking But this girl had something special. She could put it down in the bed like no one he had ever meet in his life. He went on to give me all the details clearly and vividly about some woman he knew all of 10 years ago!! I think he actually made his self hard while talking about it (sorry) but he did!
Anyways as I listened to him rant I couldn’t help but think about that one guy (yes one) that I currently hold every man to his bar for (which is VERY HIGH). The man knew how to flip it, smack it and rub it down. I knew every time I would see him that I would not be disappointed when we got busy and well I still think about it like it was yesterday just like my friend does. But he was someone in spite of his sexual capabilities he and I had no right to be together. I often wondered why I would keep dealing with our fights, and bickering over dumb stuff and for a minute I thought I loved the man. But my friends it wasn’t love it was the other L word, Lust.
I know sometimes its hard to keep the two separated, but I swear everytime you hear your friend say oh she put a brick in his window, or I got a ppo on that crazy b*tch for putting a knife on my pillow with red kool-aid on it and a note saying “imma kill yo ass*. No my friends this is not love like you think, this is straight up lust. I mean I know we have all fell in love a time or two, but sex good sex can make you do way more crazy ish than love ever could. I know, even though I have never put peanut butter n somebodies gas tank I sure have thought about it, and I know it wasnt cuz I loved that foo!!
Anyways once I figured out that it wasn’t love, I was able to let go of the situation. I think we all need to take a step back and analyze why we stay with people who aren’t capable of making us happy outside of sex. Trust me its good for the soul and whatever, but word of advise don’t go dumping you lust buddy until you can be with someone you love, dont want u to get fired from you job because you threw a computer out of a window (i have never done this).
So everybody by now is aware that I have been working through getting financially stable. I have managed to save (by months end) a total of $4,500. I have been working two jobs and saving the cash from my rental property for the past 3-4 months (the power of focus hard at work). I have had a few set backs in having to dish out large lump sums for emergencies, but over all I am doing extremely well. It has been worth the sacrifice 100% because now I actually have something to show for my hard work. Anyways this post isn’t about my financial bank account it’s about my EMOTIONAL bank account, so let’s talk about it.
Most of us, when we get into relationships with the opposite sex, go into it with high hopes that we will be over all in a “Winning” situation. Now there will always be a time where we feel like we are being “short changed”, but for the most part we should always have 50-50 love. The concept of the emotional bank account isn’t new and we all know that. All I am doing is calling it in “simp”ler terms “Happy Cash”.
Who gets an account?
Everyone gets an account, “Cut buddies”, “friends with benefits” boy friends and girlfriends”. The E.H.C.A should always have money in it and should never under any circumstance have a negative balance. People with noregular cash flow eventually end up using “happy pills” and we know what those do lol.
How the account works
Let’s start with the basics. Happy cash is the emotional money your significant other deposits, (assuming you have one) into your account on a regular that makes you feel worth being together. You put “money” per say, in the account by doing things you know will over all contribute to the well being of your mate and over all happiness. These things could be taking out the trash, cooking a nice dinner, voluntary back rubs, xbox time without interruption, getting that “job while driving” without asking, and taking rides on your “toys aka bikes” without being called asking where the hell are you. All these things would contribute to me loving my boo more and more every day. The trick to this account is for both people to make sure both people are always being fulfilled in the relationship.
Think of it like your every day job. Would you go to work 40 hours a week and enjoy being paid for 20 hours month after month?? Nah either you quit or tell them to pay up!!! The E.H.C.A account works the same way. If there is anytime you ever feel your not getting what you deserve you should address the issue or leave.
Deposits
How your significant other makes deposits greatly affects this account. If for one month (As example) he asked you to give him head for 10 days straight (unless you’re a nasty freak and you like doing that) your going to feel like your man is depleting your account and that’s ok as long as he has made his normal deposits. But if in fact he is demanding head, but didn’t take out the trash like you asked, didn’t make you feel soft n pink for 3 days straight, or kept playing xbox when you needed “assistance”, your account will become negative and you won’t have any cash to give when he goes to use his “Debit card”. Get it?? Same goes for the men, you all should get your deposits on time just like a woman should. I personally always want to feel needed, loved, and appreciated and if I love my man or like his sex even I should understand that my “great blow job” Is not the only thing that keeps him loving me.
In conclusion, we all need to feel like our accounts aren’t always in a deficit like the United States of America. There will be times with this account that you have to make your own deposit, (being single) that means take time for yourself and do things that contribute to your well being. If you need a day at the spa then go, if you want to “G.I.U” (Geek-it-up) for hours on end do it, or if you want to sit in front of the tv watching reruns of sex in the city, DO IT!! All the deposits you make on yourself well eventually allow to you pay out dividends on the new person you meet. If your account balance is already low (like mine) you can’t be handing out lines of credit like a McDonald’s Monopoly game piece, CASH ONLY. So folk get out there and open up your E.H.C.A’s today!! Or if you want you can simply at the bottom of this page leave a list of the things that creates deposits FOR YOU. I will leave mine here. Thanks folks!!
My account balance $200 (its low but I haven’t been making deposits lately)
Deposits I like to make or like having made….
Shopping for new shoes $100
Ice cream at Baskin Robins $30
A phone call in the middle of the day from a male friend to say hi $900
Listening to music all day at work $300
Blogging $100
Having a guy cook for me $1,000
Eating at my favorite spot $1,500
Getting my nails n hair done $ 800
Talking on the phone hours on end with my best friend $5,000 (she keeps me sane)
And the list goes on, NOTE: I’m single so I pretty much make MOST of the deposits myself. People in relationships may have different kinds of deposits but the idea is the same.
I have recently visited a couple of my fellow blogger buddies sites to get a bit of incite without having to blog about it on my own since my blogs are suppose to be tailored to finances for a while. This time though I had to do my own simply because It had to do with some of my own issues currently and this entire site is dedicated to me anyways.
Comebackgirl and SBM have been “going at it” for a minute about rules of engagement and this is my 2.5 cents on the issues at hand..
I got into this debate about calling (honestly its continually never ending) because I had to personally deal with a guy who wasn’t calling as much as I thought he should. I believe in chivalry 100% but now days I am starting to realize some men just don’t get it. I now realize that men aren’t mind readers and well they certainly don’t have a chivalry button that automatically comes on. They need to be told what to do mainly because they haven’t been taught and are simply lazy.
So the question then comes how much time and effort am I willing to put into making them the man I want them to be. Now I certainly don’t condone a clueless man some things should just be automatic like opening doors (including cars), and doing whatever means being a gentleman typically you don’t need money to do this. But when it comes to molding that romantic man who calls you at work to say hello, runs your bath water, and takes out the trash Ibelieve most (not all) need to be told. I heard one woman say “if I gotta tell them that takes the fun out of it” is it better to let him guess and be wrong about your needs and run the risk of him not ever doing the things you want because you didn’t communicate it to him? I believe that once you tell a man your feelings wants and needs and he goes out of his way to be that man for you that is what makes it romantic because he actually cares enough to change. So what I told him to call or send me flowers point is I got them!!! Now if I say baby send me flowers and he never did then we need to talk.
Overall I don’t plan to spend a year or two or three trying to mold a man. If I have an issue, I will confront you with it, allow you time correct it and if you don’t give you the boot. I don’t think you can make a man be perfect because there will always be issues that arise in a relationship that should be addressed. So from now on I am going to always express my feelings and see where it leads me, hopefully in the right direction of compromise, win win, qid pro qwo whateva all that good stuff!!!!
Oh yes and to add, each woman has different limits to what they can deal with (thank you comeback for bringing up that point) personally I am not going to fall apart (anymore) over phone calls. Its just not that serious but in comebacks case “O” is in another state so yea I think I would need more calls too. I have a couple friends I don’t take advice from simply because we are in the same boat with a leak, on of my girlfriends actually thinks marriage is a waste of time now seriously when did you come up with this??? Ok I am done.
I’m being punk’d I have finally seen it all lol . This event is going down in the city of Detroit Feb 7th and yes I will be there(only being a body guard for my girl) LOL. I put pictures of up ALL the men that are to be in attendance as well as a few profiles that caught my eye.. I was beginning to see a lot of d j’s n rappers so called producers so I stopped reading after a few but this should be interesting
CEDRIC SCOTT, aka “Ced Lover” is a 5 year resident of Michigan, by way of South Carolina. This southern boy has been an on-air personality for 5 radio stations in SC and Michigan. He is currently in his 2nd year as the promotions director for HOT 102.7. He graduated from USC with a bachelors degree in Advertising and recently finished his Masters degree in Marketing. He likes cute faces, thin waists and a big behind. Ced says, “My credit score is over 700 AND I’m not currently paying any child support.”
TONE TONE. Grimy and clean are not words often used together unless you happen to have heard Tone Tone. A young, hip hop phenom from Detroit. With only six industry years under his belt, Tone has created quite a buzz in the mixtape circuit as well as with radio singles, “I Ain’t Playin’ Wit Cha,” “Luv da Way She Doin It,” & “What Up Doe.”
One of Detroit’s finest DJs… check him out every Friday night at the Elysium Lounge, or at the Palace, as he’s the Pistons and Shock’s official Sports & Entertainment DJ. He’s also spinning weekly at the Motor City Casino’s Radio Bar. Likes: all styles of music, women who are goal oriented and ambitious, and honesty!
Detroit’s Bad Boy” DJ Gary Chandler is a Detroit icon when it comes to the DJ game… having been with Radio One Detroit for four years, Gary is well known for making it bang on the air and in the club. Single with no children (yes, ladies, we said NO children!), some of Gary’s hobbies include watching movies and hanging out with his favorite homeboy, “Copper”, his four-year-old Pomeranian.
Drew aka “DRU DADA.” I am the Regional Market Manager for the Island Def Jam Music Group. I love music, sports and working. I don’t like women that smoke cigarettes. I am a proud parent of a 6yr old daughter (that is the #1 girl in my life right now). I travel and work a lot but always try to find time to enjoy the finer things in life
KEMARR aka “KEY DIEGO.” I am an Aquarius from Detroit. 5’8″ and 155lbs. I have a 1 year old daughter who needs a step mother. lol!
Dorian Richardson. Just a cool, confident, laid back type, with an unhealthy since of humor. Eastern Michigan University graduate who is currently working in Marketing/Education. A huge sports fanatic who enjoy basketball, and football and working out. I’m a strong advocate for family. In life I try my best to strive for excellence, because God is excellent. Live and learn, and leave past regrets behind, and move forward.
FYI this is not a tutorial lol. (disclaimer) I can’t even get the boyfriend part right let alone marriage lol. However this blog is about a recent post I found on a website. Currently they are scouting for professional single women to come on there show, and the first thing I noticed was a comment about the overwhelming response to the new tv show. It mentioned the fact that over 5,000 woman have applied. Now here is where my problem comes to play. If you go to the website you can find the application and It is extremely extensive. worse than any reality tv show I have seen, on top of that you still need 5 minute video and 1 page paper about your dating life. Hello!!! am I in college all over again or what. So 5,000 + ladies have applied does anybody see a problem other than me??? If you have that much time on your hands to fill out this application and actually submit it then you have to much time on your hands hints the reason you are still single. Not trying to be funny but I hear the numbers in dating are to our advantage so get out and date!!!
I need you like pens need paper, like the sky needs stars at night, like New England needs super bowl.
I never claim to be as philosophical as Shakespeare, but I recognize a passion to find ways to describe love. Outside of the text book version, the wikipedia version or even the bibles version of love. I wanna dig deep deep down into my soul and birth words that only can be translated by you and I, because we are one. You know me better than I know myself, Better than my boys I have known since I was 5. Never have I found myself so “open” to anyone. I want to share everything with you even tell you why men make women cry just to give you incite. I never want you to feel pain ever again while you are on this earth. I know I’m not the perfect man but ever day I will try my damndest to be perfect for you, because I love you.
I want to be to you what I am to myself. Dedicated, passionate about life, giving when I have no more to give, hard working and kind. I want to be the best for you and I. I want to be that man that runs your bath water, the man that goes with you to lamas class everyday until our child is born. I want to be as close to you as I am to God.
People say they want that agape love but when it comes they run. The only way I’m running is if its bringing me closer to you, you see I love you. I’d look up every way to say I love you until there were none left and even then I’d make up more just to satisfy you.
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