The weekend isn’t over but I couldn’t do the whole “Wait til Monday to post” type deal, so here I am on a Saturday night.
Yesterday I went out with out with this girl I met about 3 months ago at a night club named Vickie. I was out on a Friday night having some me time martini’s just enjoying the atmosphere and relaxing. Ya know you don’t always need ya friends to go out for drinks, and well truthfully here in Lansing I don’t have that many. Anyways while I was enjoying my evening by myself Vickie came in with a couple of guys. She was a seemingly tall blond girl with long hair, she wore this cute Grey pencil skirt, with a white top. Honestly she looked like a flight attendant which I thought was super cute. So her and her friends all order drinks and continued to have laughs and what looked like a good time.
So about 30 to 45 minutes something I didn’t expect to happen to me did. This girl outta know where gets up and says hi to me. “Girl are you here by yourself?” she asked “yes I am” I responded wondering why this white girl felt the need to come say something to me. “You are much to pretty to be sitting over here by yourself, you wanna come sit with us?” Now I must admit I was so flattered that she found me attractive but now im thinking she is gay as hell, but whatever its just a bar what the hey. So I join her friends and BOYFRIEND and proceeded to have a good time, me and Vicki have been friends ever since. But this is not the reason for my story I just had to give you some history.
So last night after work me, Vickie, Steve, and Matt decided to go out for drinks at the place we always hang. I don’t honestly have any white friends but these group of people are by far the coolest bunch I have ever met. Anyways so we are out having drinks and a good time and me and Vickie are talking about attractiveness/dating/being out in clubs meeting people. I told Vickie how I don’t really get approached by many guys, she was seemingly amazed by that, exclaiming how gorgeous i am n things of that sort. “you just gotta learn how to speak to guys and be friendly” “Yea Vickie but how?”. Let me show you, so we get up and head to the bathroom, “gotta pee first”. So we are continuing this convo in the bathroom and I have this girl explain to me how to mack. As we proceed to leave a loud knock comes from the door (this wasn’t planned). Its a unisex bathroom so some dude was knocking to make sure no one was in there. Vickie opens the door with a super big smile on her face and belts out “hi boys!” These two dudes standing in front of us responds with a excited hi as well. Vickie starts talking these guys up and finds out one of the dudes has a birthday, and 2 minutes later they are buying us drinks! I was in shock that she did all that in a matter of 5 minutes. “see its easy”.
Fast forward to the reason for this post. I am on the phone with my best friend explaining to her said events and how Vickie the white girl was able to do what she did and how impressed I was. ” Yea but see im not fake like that, those white girls are always in dudes faces and I just don’t do that” This is my best friend talking now. “D” I don’t see anything wrong or classless with the way she approached those men, all she did was started making small talk and was friendly and the convo gets icki right here.
Now me and my bestie disagree on a lotta things so add this to the list. She says that speaking to a dude and “Acting” nice is rather fake. First of all why is putting a smile on your face and saying Hi equal to being fake? Secondly she makes it seem like its a bad white girl thing that my friend Vickie is talking to these guys. I was pretty offended but her response is more typical. Me and my best friend have gone out to clubs on countless occasions, normally its US buying our own damn drinks, US sitting there jibber jabbing with each other good times right? well yea if your Gary Coleman and even he’s more fun than that. She believes that we should wait for men to come to us and well thats exactly what we been doing WAITING. Now before you YES YOU get all bent outta shape, Vickie never said act overly flamboyant or go outta your way, all she said was speak, and smile and compliment them which is exactly what she did. If it was to over the top I woulda known but we actually had a blast and I can’t say that about the times me and my bestie go out.
Are we as black women so uptight that we can’t even muster a hello to a dude? If thats true well this is one behavior I do not want to adopt. Imgine me having the confidence to make the choice about what man I want to approch and having the odds of him responding positively. I think its a confidence booster and a sure fire way to make sure ugmo isn’t all up in my face sayin “how u doin”. I am pretty annoyed by my best friends mentality and her “thats a white girl thing” assumption if it is so be it, and where can I sign up for this!
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