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Archive for June, 2009

Its Tuesday and im just now getting around to posting on my blog. The weekend was pretty cool, It started off with going to my moms church to hang with her youth department, reminded me why i need not have kids right now. Friday was super fun had a blast at the java exchange cafe, hearing spoken word, and some gospel rap. It was really cool meeting all the new people and just being in an environment that wasn’t club related. Saturday I slept and Sunday I hung with my fam and we had a ball.

But this post isn’t about my weekend its about something I discovered while you guessed it “reading”. The book was talking about how we don’t do enough to benefit ourselves. Now you probably thinking isn’t that selfish? well not what I am talking about. What I mean by it, is to do things that actually enhance your life or intend to at some point. An example that was given was cable tv that never gets watched and how you could put the 50 or 80 bucks to better use. Now im not even talking about a dave book so don’t trip lol. But when we get rid of things that aren’t really helping (but not really hurting you either), it allows room for things that actually do HELP.

I figured out something I was holding on to, that for a few reasons I hadn’t exactly “let go” either from laziness or just the simple fact that I was delusional about the potential of this “thing”. Today I started to think about what could happen if i let it go and WOW!!! its a lot…..

Sometimes we get used to doing things out of habit or justifying them just because its a part of life and not realizing where we could improve because of something in the way. Not really talking about cable so much but think about a person that keeps you down, or a bad habit that you can’t kick, or an item that you know could be beneficial to another person but you just won’t let it go. I am rambling but my point is successful people don’t hold on to clutter, if something is weighin them down they get rid of it in order to work on the things that DO keep us moving in the right direction. We all want to be successful in life and we all could name a few things that keep us from focusing 100% on our goal. So im gonna get rid of my “thing” and make room for more prosperous things to take place, what are YOU gonna do???

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my “thing”

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If you didn’t hear already, this past weekend was great. I went to salsa bootcamp and a salsa social. I learned a lot of new moves and discovered that this would be something I would like to get good at. This weekend I also faced some rejection, but you know they say for every door closed one will open!! Its funny because not many women put them selves out there to even be rejected. I feel like the more I step out the more im not afraid to go after what I want and it actually feels good.

Even thought I don’t exactly have my numbers up yet, I have been having really the time of my life, getting out meeting new people men and women alike. I can’t say I haven’t done this much in a few years and I really don’t remember why I had not before. Since being on the plan my life is becoming a little more enhanced each day. I am finding what I love and what I could care less about, im finding out more about my faith walk as well. Also being able to tap into some old good habits that I neglected a while ago.

Funny none of it really has to do with men, its just learning to do me. I never really realized until now how fun is it to be single as in being free to make plans for whatever, go here go there and not have anyone say I can’t. I think im actually over booking stuff to do!! Now trust I haven’t forgotten about my 5 numbers a week, but what I have learned more so that its has to do with learning me as I stated already 100 times. As I get out more and more I will eventually get my numbers up and have prospects but its certainly ok with out them right now. I just want to have a good time and I am doing just that.

Lesson 1.5

rejection can be a beast but you must keep moving right along!

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Better after 40?

I had the pleasure last night of taking myself out on the town, and I must say I had the best time. I had basically forced myself to drive to Detroit after being told my friend wasn’t going to make it to the after work mixer with me. So I headed down anyways and after calling a few male friends that flaked, i was all by myself. It ended up working out that I was alone because I was suppose to be working my “experiment”. I am happy to report I did get a number!! ok so technically I didn’t get it myself someone got it for me and the guy is like pushin 50, but its just a date right??? lol

Anyways I had a ball, just kicking it, dancing and being with people. I love going back to detroit and last night was one of those times I missed my city. But I am side tracking…….

I ended up asking a girl sitting next to me to do the ball room hustle since no one had gotten out on the dance floor yet, she agreed by the end of the night I had 3 new friends all over 40. After dancing my butt off and having my chicken wings stolen, we chatted it up about you guessed it MEN!! I was first in shock because not only was all three people over 40 but they all were MARRIED, why is a married person out at the club without there s.o??? They all had interesting stories and when I say I was schooled? I am not kidding. I can’t even tell you about half the stuff they had to say about being young vs old, whats REALLY important in a relationship all the way down to sex lol?? at the bar no less. At any rate one thing the two women kept sayin was make sure a man is stable and DO NOT marry for LOVE!! wha?? what do you mean?? She said its all cute at first but when YOU get it to it you will find that there are more things that are important than love.

This is shocking to hear a woman say but maybe its true? Idk, what I do know is that I look forward to just enjoying myself having a ball making friends and living life! after all it is what this experiment is about in part, it just sucks that i have to drive an HOUR to find entertainment!!

Anywhoot stay tuned? will Mik go out with the 50 year old?? will she not???

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As you all know I will be documenting my dating experiences on my blog. Today I am super tired from the weekend so bare with a sista!

Friday night, I went to salsa class in my attempts to “leave the house” as the book (how to find a man worth keeping) states, your husband is not going to fall out the sky so get active. I have to admit just leaving my house and doing something out of the regular was extremely fun. I got a chance to dance with this super cute 2520 which im shocked i even found him attractive. I believe since I started to go by the “no expectations rule” I was able to step out side of my 6’0 chocolate brown brotha idea.

I am suppose to be getting 5 numbers a week, keep in mind I don’t actually have to go on a date, i just have to have prospects. I must admit that this might be harder that I thought. I realized this weekend I am a bit shy when it comes to speaking up, probably something I knew but just never really had to face at any given time. Now that I am basically forced to get phone numbers i HAVE to speak up!! Unfortunately I didn’t get the guys number in class but hopefully my confidence will be up by friday because I am most def going back!!

The other experience I had was with a guy I had met online. We had been taking for a few days and while I was very interested in him he was just a little to “thirsty” as my friend holly would say lol. For a minute I was intrigued buy his persistence but then I realized that I am not suppose to be exactly “falling” for anything for at least 6 months. Needless to say I worked up enough courage to tell him that I am going to be “multi tasking my azz”. He didn’t like that and told me he wouldn’t be speaking to my from that point on because he was looking for a wife like yesterday lol.

I am glad I was able to stand up to the guy and let him know my true feelings. So many times we get caught up in the fairly tales of dating and love that we forget to check out the “True picture”. Underneath the surface of this guy was a controlling, overly dramatic, ego driven brotha. When I took off my sunny shades, I saw the true picture and it was NOT good. I pray that I will continue to see the trueness in people as I move about this process. So here are a few questions we must ask are self when we are getting involved with someone of the opposite sex.

1. Am I willing to settle for fear, there might not be something better?

2. How far will I allow men to pressure me before I give in?

3. Am I believe truthful about EVERYTHING I believe in.

what say you?

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Someone say salsa??

As I stated in my earlier post today, I was going to be “experimenting” with multi tasking/dating. In the book I have been reading “how to get a date worth keeping” My first “task” is to get my numbers up. Well in order to do that I would need to actually leave the house!! shocking right lol. This weekend will be about meeting new folks and getting out, after all it is summer time.

So today I signed up for salsa lessons at a dance studio, it was funny when I called to check the times I asked the lady do I need to bring a partner (as if i actually had one lol) she was like “nope we have plenty guys here!” ah seriously? Its funny how our dating misconceptions get thrown out the window when whenever someone verifies my “ideas” aren’t always truth.

It should be fun because 1. I dunno how to salsa dance, and 2. its going to allow me to put my “meeting skills” to the ultimate test, remember I have to get my numbers up!!

have a fun weekend guys!

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So I have been out of blog site for a little while but happy to report life in and of itself is good. I have been learning new things about my self and the people around me, also getting to learn the word of God. I started going to church and I think I have found a church that I would like to join soon. Still in the process of paying off debt and continuing on my journey to debt freedom. Nothing to complain about so God is Good!!

Recently I have been getting my hands on a lot of dating books. No Steve harvey lol, but ones more geared towards Christian dating and how to go about it. Apparently there is this stigma out there about how Christians shouldn’t date and just “wait” for God to send them someone. I often wonder how is it that when we need to get a job we go out and look, send resumes make phone calls etc…. when we want to find a church home, we research, talk to people and visit those prospective churches, when we wanna to buy a house, we don’t wait for a home to pop up, we go house hunting. I believe God gives us the tools to be productive and successful in life but it is up to us to actually utilize those tools. It should be the same in dating. I don’t believe my future mate will be the fedex dude or the cable guy, so I have to get out there and DATE!!

Anywhoot, this new book im reading “How to get a date worth keeping” Has done two things so far

1. challenged me to not look at going on dates as “finding my husband” and to just meet people, get to know people and have fun. You can only be sure of what you like if you date many types of people.

2. Its challenging me to figure out why im dateless and change those things. Is it because I don’t get out much? am I shy? are there just not enough single men for me?

So I have to keep a log of new men I meet for the next couple weeks in order to shed some light on my situation. There is this guy at work I been checking for so I went ahead and asked him on a date, since there isn’t pressure to find my hubby anymore everything feels much easier, not worrying about rejections, not caring if he doesn’t fit into my “mold” etc… just having a regular ole good time with a potential friend “PF”

So I am going to try to do as much Journaling as i can so everyone can see how this is working out for me. There will be no committing to ANYONE even if i do find a guy i like, for atleast 6 months.

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