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Archive for July, 2009

Today i feel..

Content but i still want more

Sad with no really valid reasons

Pregnant when i know im not

Excited but not exactly ready for change to come

Worried most of my close friends are no longer that

Bored without debt to constantly worry over because its almost gone

Dreamy about my future

self concious about what some folks think of me

Ready to decorate and make this new place my home

How do you feel today??

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Weekend Fab

I had a pretty good weekend, for my few fans that care lol. Nothing exciting went down but I got some much needed chill time. Being single seems to be relaxing these days. Nobody callin me 24-7, all up in my face, kissy face lovey dovey stuff. Its just me, and right now I like it.

I am grateful for the day I get into a committed relationship but also glad I can enjoy just being with myself and having a good time. I encourage single people to embrace the time because you can’t get it back. Travel, meet new people, come and go as you please, and just do you!!

thats all…..

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Everyone knows by now how i have felt about high education in the past right?? If not let me refresh you. College wasnt the place i wanted to be. I couldnt stand those higher horse educated black folks and refused to jump on that band wagon. Well today i got into it with a friend about it and it ticked me off.

First let me say my opinion about college has changed 100%. I understand the importance and all that. However i still dont believe one should go into debt to finish. People now days dont believe you can complete higher education without debt. This is where the argument started. Mind you im arguing with a person who has managed to complete 2 years of higher education debt free??? She was sayin its impossible because she was faced with needing to borrow.

I got mad at her because she used my prior opinion as a bases of me being against her choice to go into debt. News flash even when i was in college i hatted getting loans to pay for it pre dave n all. I think college is great and eventually im going back even if it takes me a while im gonna do it debt free.

She doesnt want to put off school just because she cant pay out of pocket and i respect that, but dont think because i choose to wait doesnt mean i dont value it as much as the next.

I know everybody is in debt but im taking a diff route. I dont ask people to agree i just ask u to respect my choice…..

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As of late I have been able to dedicate myself to a lot of positive things. I became a member of my church recently and decided to dedicate my life to Christ. I am dedicated to learning about how to date, be a better person, getting out of debt and a bunch of other things. But Yesterday I was attending a good friend of mines fundraiser. I hadn’t supported her in her campaign efforts since God knows when. She has been running for city council and I have totally been MIA. Yesterday I realized how much I had been out of touch and I felt a pain in my stomach and I felt like i had failed a friend.

I always preach about friends this and that but how much of a friend have I been as of late?? Probably not a good one because just like the people i complain about I ACT LIKE just on a different level. Today I realized it and it hurt me bad but I had to own up to it so I could face it an deal with it. Just because I messed up doesn’t mean I can’t make it right, right???

So I called up my girlfriend and apologized as best I could (cuz i suck at this) and told her I would do my best to help her from this point on. She said it was ok but you know deep down actions speak louder than words. So I thought of one area I KNEW she always needed help and the only real area i knew how to help with was with the children. I told her I would come get the kids the next day and she was very grateful. See my friend always knew she needed help but she isn’t one to ask especially when it comes to her children because she feels like she shouldn’t have to “Ask” if you really cared about them that way. I can’t actually blame her to a certain extent but I know if it was me I would call err body to come watch my kids lol. Anywhoot…..

I promised myself that I would go and watch the kids a few times a week until the election is over. That is the least I can do as a friend and she is just that kind of person that would do the same for you.

So for the next 2 months this is one BIG thing I am going to dedicate myself to and ask God everyday to keep me and the kids safe cuz uh lawd knows I love the kids but ummm im no suzie home maker lol. I think it should be fun spending a lot of time with them and hopefully can learn from this experience. I want to be a person that people can depend on and I also want to follow through with things I say I am going to do. This is my second chance.

Mikki

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I know this topic comes up again and again, but I have to speak on it once more because 1. It never gets old and 2. It happened to me.

Recently I was reconnected with a blast from the past (worksite jada). He reached out to me via email after a year of not speaking due to me ending it. Obviously it was for good reason but for some reason I thought things might be different. For a while (read a week) things actually were different, we talked every day via email, text and hours on the phone. It was pretty cool. Then one day I got an email “hey yea member that girl I told you about?” Yea well we went on a date……..

This for me is where it pretty much ended. Suddenly the phone calls stop, texting stops, emails are there but fading into black. I saw all these signs smacking me in the face saying its time for me to act like a banana and split but something in me needed conformation.

So Mik gets bold and brave enough to ask the question “Dude what happen?”

Dude: I been in church all week and got super busy….

Dude: I am over in my text messages……(we have mobile to mobile)

Dude: I figured you might be sleep and I knew you was going out of town.

Dude: Work? Oh yea I was busy there too!!!

Dude: Its really not like that……

Seriously? You think that for a second I am buying any of these excuses? I am not the brightest crayon in the box but I do know when I am being played. So he insisted once again that it wasn’t like that and apologized again. I am a big creature of habit and if you start out one way and suddenly things are MUCH different im going to side eye you.

Thankfully I saw the sign and It opened up my eyes I saw the sign……. (song break) and I wont continue to go down this path with this dude.

Have you ever had clear signs that he wasn’t that into you and you ignored them and kept forcing something that would probably never be right?

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