Archive for October, 2009

Ok so here I am popping on my music from Imeem and I decided to listen to the new song by Usher called “Papers”. Basically a song about how the marriage he had went down the crapper and he was ready to be divorced.

While I understand and cut Hollywood and stardom a little slack, I still don’t understand why people have such a low regards for marriage that they just up n leave when it gets hard. Its starting to really tick me off how people even have the balls to get married knowing full well the point of marriage only to end it over the STUPIDEST of things. “He made me drive a pinto and I wanted a honda so its not gonna work” Or “she never cooks and can’t open a beer bottle with her teeth while wearing 6 inch heels every day so im out” I mean its ridiculous. If you had the slightest inclination that it wouldn’t work, then why do it?

People get married all the time for the wrong reasons which I understand, but once your in it why can’t you just stick it out. Sometimes I often wonder if marriage is even for me almost like well if nobody cares about marriage why should I do it? It longer has the value placed on it like it used to and its looked at as just something to do these days.

I really wish people would start taking these commitments to each other a LOT more seriously. Our children are suffering because of it and we are becoming a more and more narcissistic society living in the “its all about me and my happiness” type of a world. When will people realize that its not JUST ABOUT YOU and get over themselves.

I think it should be a lot harder to divorce someone than it is now. I think if it was harder to get out people wouldn’t take it so lightly. The song “papers” is stupid and I WISH a fool might try to divorce me over some dumb stuff. You won’t at all be singing a song called papers you will be singing “I wish she hadn’t thrown them hot grits on me while I was butt a*z naked” now you can sign your PAPERS!


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Incase anyone didn’t know I love to talk about relationships. I have no idea why but it just never gets old even when I am in them I can always find something to share about a situation. As of late I have been dealing a bit with my ex. He recently started to contact me and attempting to come around. Well I must say the attempts were very short lived. I figured out dude was basically trying to get into my good graces so he could have a place to stay while he was in town working 5 days a week at his new gig. Needless to say he did a terrible job of smoozing (i think) and I caught wind.

I was a little disappointed at first, simply because I haven’t been on ANY dates, and secondly because there was a glimmer of hope in me thinking he would have changed by now. Being in the sitution however made me wonder how many of us go to any lenghts to try and save something out of despiration or pure bordom. I can’t imagine what actually would have happen had I allowed this sharrade to continue.

Now that its over I wonder what my future holds. Will I be as closed as I am now to dating? will I always try to find motive behind a situation or simply just enjoy the momement? I guess only time can tell.

Has anyone ever attempted to make a situation work even though you know in the end it wouldn’t, have you ever stayed with someone because of bordom? Have you ever been blinded to being played?

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bonnie_clyde_465x402Ok let me clarify before I start writing about the topic this is not my sentiments anymore(end).

I have a pod cast that I listen to every day called the mark gungor show, before I rant about how funny they are listen yourself. Anywhoot the topic that peeked my interest was a subject about how we go about the dating process.

For the longest time in my life I always thought that if my family or friends didn’t approve of who I was dating I would say screw u I am going to do what I want anyways. I hated the idea of people “medaling” in my love affairs unless I cared to share the information with them. Everybody had an opinion about what so n so should be doing and blazy blazy. The more I listen to the nay sayers the more I would back away and do my Bonnie and clyde/us against the world stance. I would classify those who didn’t like my situation as a “hater”, they dunno what they talmbout they just jealous of ME!

Well in all my years of dating I realized now (post mark) that its probably not the best idea to date someone solely. As much as we may hate to admit it our friends (true ones) and family don’t ware the same rose colored glasses as we do while we are dating. They tend to see things in a much clearer light because THEY aren’t in it. Now take note i do understand there are those who can never speak any good into your life but if you live and operated in a healthy environment your people can usually give you sound advise. On the radio show mark mentioned out in other cultures they do more of the “arranged marriages” while i don’t totally agree with this concept I do agree with the premis that FAMILY AND FRIENDS should in fact be way more involved than we allow.

I know its scarey at first but trust if you allow your self to be exposed chances are you would save yourself from a world of heart ache. I would even attempt to say this is the MOST selfish good thing you can do for your current or future dating relationship. I haven’t had a chance to test the waters but I am certainly going to let people in on my relationship and actually allow my beau to be around my family and friends a LOT. My family and friends now me best and if anyone can assure I am making the right choice its them.

So good people do you usually involve your family and friends in your dating process or make sure they actually get to be around your s.o or do you bonnie n clyde it down the isle. Would you be willing to change your process if you knew it would keep you from making wrong choices?

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Hello fello bloggers!! Yes I have been gone for a minute but I am back again as always. A lot of things have taken place in the last two or three months but I can say most have been positive changes which going on 27 in two weeks I can appreciate the good things.

Recently I got into a conversation with a friend about my stance to become celibate until marriage. Its not something that I really felt comfortable with speaking on at first but I realized the things that have happened in my life because of this has had a major impact. Since the decision I have come closer to my faith. Its been a challenging change to say the least. Not so much that I miss chexing but more about what it represents.

For a while I had been struggling with surrendering myself to the Lord. I didn’t feel like (at first) that just because I gave up chex that my whole world would turn upside town. I thought I would basically say “God I did this for you, now its your turn to bless me with a good man” Its only until resently I realized what “Dying to self” actually meant. When I made my decision to be celibate I thought I had already died lol. Really I hadn’t given myself to God because I was still “Waiting” to be blessed.

Over the last few weeks I have been learning about giving myself “Totally” to God and at first I was scared. The thought of having to basically stop hoping, wishing, praying that God would just magically send me someone. I kept hearing single people should serve God. What does that mean exactly, because I am single I have to be this way for life? when is ok to have a man?? All these thoughts raced through my head and I NEVER wanted to accept that this could be my life FOREVER. I can’t say I am 100% over the “Idea” of love and marriage. But I have slowly come to realize that God isn’t my genie in a bottle. Even though he puts “Conditions” on us doesn’t mean we can treat him in the same manor simply because we are fickle people and change like the wind. I know as much as I try to keep my promise I can sometimes fall short. God NEVER fails…..

I want to exemplify what it means to “die to self” giving myself totally to God without any worries of my future. I don’t want to worry if I get married. If I don’t get married I still will remain celibate because this is what is required of me. I still pray God blesses me but I no longer dwell or let my life revolve around “marriage”.

Have you ever thought of putting “conditions” on God tit for tat?? Have you ever thought of dying to yourself. Do you think you could do that if God never gave you the desire of your heart?

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