Archive for February, 2008

I have recently visited a couple of my fellow blogger buddies sites to get a bit of incite without having to blog about it on my own since my blogs are suppose to be tailored to finances for a while. This time though I had to do my own simply because It had to do with some of my own issues currently and this entire site is dedicated to me anyways.  

Comebackgirl and SBM have been “going at it” for a minute about rules of engagement and this is my 2.5 cents on the issues at hand..  

I got into this debate about calling (honestly its continually never ending) because I had to personally deal with a guy who wasn’t calling as much as I thought he should. I believe in chivalry 100% but now days I am starting to realize some men just don’t get it. I now realize that men aren’t mind readers and well they certainly don’t have a chivalry button that automatically comes on. They need to be told what to do mainly because they haven’t been taught and are simply lazy.

So the question then comes how much time and effort am I willing to put into making them the man I want them to be.   Now I certainly don’t condone a clueless man some things should just be automatic like opening doors (including cars), and doing whatever means being a gentleman typically you don’t need money to do this. But when it comes to molding that romantic man who calls you at work to say hello, runs your bath water, and takes out the trash I  believe most (not all) need to be told. I heard one woman say “if I gotta tell them that takes the fun out of it” is it better to let him guess and be wrong about your needs and run the risk of him not ever doing the things you want because you didn’t communicate it to him? I believe that once you tell a man your feelings wants and needs and he goes out of his way to be that man for you that is what makes it romantic because he actually cares enough to change. So what I told him to call or send me flowers point is I got them!!! Now if I say baby send me flowers and he never did then we need to talk. 

Overall I don’t plan to spend a year or two or three trying to mold a man. If I have an issue, I will confront you with it, allow you time correct it and if you don’t give you the boot. I don’t think you can make a man be perfect because there will always be issues that arise in a relationship that should be addressed. So from now on I am going to always express my feelings and see where it leads me, hopefully in the right direction of compromise, win win, qid pro qwo whateva all that good stuff!!!! 

Oh yes and to add, each woman has different limits to what they can deal with (thank you comeback for bringing up that point) personally I am not going to fall apart (anymore) over phone calls. Its just not that serious but in comebacks case “O” is in another state so yea I think I would need more calls too. I have a couple friends I don’t take advice from simply because we are in the same boat with a leak, on of my girlfriends actually thinks marriage is a waste of time now seriously when did you come up with this??? Ok I am done.


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Breath sista breath!!!

Today I am happy I have a blog space of my own to regroup. I enjoy being posted up on other folks spots leaving marks and running back home where its calm and quiet and nobody really knows I was ever there. I am about turn off my phone, retire to a hot bubble bath and sounds of  “Kem” In the meantime if you get time read this blog http://www.singleblackmale.net/2008/02/27/chivalry-is-dead-well-mortally-wounded/

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Last night I had the opportunity to treat myself to my very first live Tyler Perry Play “The Marriage Counselor”. Honestly it was on a last minute whim but I paid $40 for a very good seat and that honestly was all I spent (attempting to justify random spending). Anyways I must say it was a very very good show. I actually haven’t laughed so hard in such a long time and every bit of the show was enjoyable right down to the singing. I recommend couples and singles see the play if you get a chance even if your not a big fan of Perry. 

Without telling the whole thing, it basically is about the challenges married couples face. It dealt with everything from money, infidelity and its consequences, physical attraction, sex, right down to dealing with in-laws. It was a good look into real life issues that most married couples have to face. I for one after seeing the show must say I am glad to be single and not married yet because it truly does take a lot of work & and sacrifice to make a relationship work and last. The whole show was as I say “gut busting funny”.

I laughed about a million and one times, and for that reason alone I say go see it.  


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Today I found out that Angie Stone was going be in concert at the Detroit Opera House on Feb 22nd. Knowing this would be one of the better concerts I have attended in a long time I immediately thought to myself “I’m gonna be there!!”  Then reality set in and realized one I didn’t plan for it and two well aint no number two, I just didn’t plan for it point blank. So I can’t go end of story. Even though I have the money $50 – $60 per ticket (which I was going to go alone), I didn’t figure in the cost of gas, parking and souvenirs which could easily make $50-$60 turn in to something like $100 + dollars.  

Even though it’s only $100, that would have busted my budget which by the way I have been working so hard to manage but I have been doing well. Telling myself “NO” is a major sign of maturity because the old me woulda said “F that budget” lol. Pleasure first consequences later, doesn’t work in the wealth building world. 

 I am still conflicted about doing things I enjoy vs. “saving and paying bills” I mean in hind sight I know what I’m doing now will pay off but this shit still hurts. Next time I will plan for stuff in advance. 


Growing up really this time

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This blog was recently revised by my good blogger buddy Mr Slish, He single handedly managed to make this story funny, so I have attached the link for everyone to read his version of my story HAPPY LAUGHING!!!

I didn’t plan on side tracking to much from my Financial Peace blogs but I had to post this right away because it hit home so tough in the relationship category. This blog is my personal story (which this incident happen today by the way) about the first time I approached a guy, I am 25 and I figure if I can’t remember a time where I actually did this, then it must not have ever happened so thats why I am saying this is the first (to my recollection at least), and this is how it happened…..

In all actuality this shoulda been the story to my future kids “how momma meet daddy” but it didn’t go down like that not in the least.

Ok so I had just rode into town from Lansing a lil after 5ish. I had planned on staying at my moms house for the weekend and just relaxing. I had stopped at my rental property to pick up my mail before heading towards my mom and decided I would stop at my dream house first(whole nother blog) but it was on the way so after I left there I figured I would go to panera’s (my favorite restaurant) and high jack some wifi for a couple hours. I knew there would be one on the way to her house and I was right. This panera’s in particular happen to be in dearborn which is actually the arabic town so I figure nothing to exciting could be going on in there on a friday evening and for a while that held to be true. I was sitting at the front of the store using my laptop and reading the local paper.The mayor’s sex scandal happen to be on the front cover so I started to read about that and people watch. Soon after, this tall cup of chocolate walks in (a brotha). He had on some dark blue jeans a big coat and he wore glasses (imma sucka for the casual but neat brotha) He had his laptop in tote so I assumed he might be there a while like the rest of us which was cool since I thought he was cute. So he placed his order surveyed the area and proceeded to head to the back of the store for a table. I couldn’t have felt more awkward in my life, I had on my beat up favorite jeans, gym shoes and a big nike coat, my hair was ok but i pretty much looked one step above a hawt mess. I sat for a while thinkin how would I manage to go back there and talk to this guy lookin like I do and not having ever done such a thing. Anyways I finally ventured back there and found a table right across from him, I know he mighta thought I was stalkin at this point but I didn’t care.

An hour or two later I’m still sitting there annoyed by some girls doing homework behind me, i didnt think they would ever leave but they did. But still I had no idea what I would say to this guy. Even emailed a couple folk, gave up on that about 4 minutes before closing and decided if i didnt take a chance to say something id be doomed for dating the rest of my life, so I pulled a sticky note out my purse and wrote a note on it and this is what it said

” I came all the way back here to speak to you and this was as far as I got……. Hi”

I proceeded to write my number on the back as well as my girlfriends number and wrote call if interested ( my cell died and didnt want to miss the call) so I got ready to leave “excuse me this is for you” and I handed him the note and rushed my ass out like the place was on fire!!!

I got in my car with my knees still knocking and heart pounding, after a couple minutes though I calmed myself and started to scream for joy!! I know as your all wondering why i was so happy?? I didn’t actually care if he called because the point of it all was to work up the courage to get him to notice me and that mission was accomplished. Men do this sort of thing all the time but its rare a woman ever does such a thing and thats why it was such a big deal, I can’t really imagine facing the rejection that men put up with all the time when they do things like this but I was prepared for the worst.

So I headed to my girlfriends house because I needed to get the case for my laptop anyways and as I walked in the door she said to me ” Ed just called that guy you just gave your number too” I said what!!! ” your fucking kidding me!!!”(score first time!!!) I felt like a 3 year old on christmas I couldn’t believe he called. Well this is where the story gets bad……

I called the guy back to find out the deal he was 30 going to school for his MBA and last but not least MARRIED!!! why the fuck did you call me if you was married. Ok that was my bad for not paying attention to his hand but im new at this ok but still, I would have been better with no phone call at all. But on partial positive note he said he thought the note was cute and was very flattered, also mentioned he didn’t see why we couldn’t be friends (how about not).

So moral of this story is never doubt yourself, ladies you can approch guys, now shit like that woulda only happend to me cuz sometimes im clueless, but point is don’t ever sell yourself short because you never know what may come of something oh yea and check the ring finger!!!!!!!!!!

damn mikki damn!!!!

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In all fairness Chrisette Michelle  “be ok” was in first place until I saw this video and when she came with the old school I had to make it #1

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I was unable to attend the “meet market” event due to some schedule conflicts, but I did get the low down on what went down and frankly I’m glad I saved my money!! Here is how it went down from what I hear 

·        The event took place at a club inside of the compuware building in downtown Detroit (nice).

·        Bad turn out of people due to this event being held on a Thursday night instead of Friday.

·        More women than men

·        Most people that attended this event was quoted to be “HOOD”

·        Not very many cute guys

·        Not very many cute girls

 Overall getto fab!!!  Personal I am very happy I didn’t go, although my girl who did go said she was able to meet one guy and a couple people she went to high school with so the night didn’t end up to bad for her. She said most of the guys registered didn’t show, and the event was totally unorganized. So much for that huh….

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