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Archive for April, 2009

I notice there has been a lot of talk about Steve Harvey’s book and inparticular the subject on 90 days waiting game. I actually have plans to take it one step further and actually wait til marriage.

Most of my friends say go ahead do you but I want to get some real incite on the process and let folks know where I am coming from. Now let me clear this up before I go into detail I am by no means a round the way around the block and back type of girl, but for most of my life I have used the mantra of “im a Libra and we like to get down” motto. So far it has given me a few great sexual experience but nothing that brought me to that “I’m in love” type feeling.

So after my break-up recently I decided to take a new approach to the way I go about dating. The idea is that I can do what they call “multitasking” without actually being emotionally tied to one person through sex, as I had done in the past. I believe by viewing men without the “Clouded judgment” will allow me to make better choices about who my future husband could potentially be. I can’t say this is a surefire way to handle things but right now I think its the best way to secure my emotional well being. This is not to say I wouldn’t be hurt by any men I didn’t sleep with but I know it can cut down on a LOT of mess that goes with dating, and I believe it will help me learn about me spiritually, physically and emotionally.

So men? women? how do you feel about the issue, do you think many men would actually go for this especially after your cherry done been popped long ago lol. Women, how do you feel about waiting? Do you think Goods NEED TO be tested first or is it all a bunch of old school hype……

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This past two weeks have been some of the most emotional weeks I have had in a while. Breaking up with the ex, making career changes, trying to stay in line with my debt plan and keeping my full time employment. Sometimes it all gets to be to much. But a recent event today has sparked my interest in changing one thing about me, that could possibly change my life forever…..

To preface this post Mikki is a hornball, ever since I first engaged in sexual activity I have been hooked. I have been loose at times even and I am not ashamed to say that. Now days I have guarded my sexuality a lot more than in the past but I still maintain the freak that I believe myself to be. I always try my best to keep it real on my blog and right now I am gonna try to be 100% real.

Today I had a conversation with a very good male friend of mine. We had that hommie lover friend type deal going on, that never really emerged into a full blown relationship. I have loved this man (so i think) with every fiber in my body, not lust just pure love. Later on though Mikki was rejected so to speak with the preface that it just wasn’t the right timing. Years later after a breakup the timing is possibly right. However, knowing how I feel about sex I wanted to make sure I wasn’t walking into another situation where I wasn’t satisfied. So I proposition my friend to sleep with me so I could really see if we connected on this level. Now yall know this is all sorts of wrong but the selfishness in me long to be sexually fulfilled and not disappointed in any way especially not sexually. So we didn’t have an exact date but we knew before we decided to “commit” to each other that this had to come first….

Then I got a phone call from a newly good friend of mine which I happen to be inspired by every time I speak with her. I told her about my plans and she immediately said DON’T DO IT!! im like why not?? I need to know!!!!! while her points on why wasn’t exactly spilled out in a 2 hour long conversation I got the gist before my phone died. I decided to read up on premarital sex and see how its been affecting me and my relationships. I have never been one to just take someones word for something but I always am committed to researching for my OWN understanding…..

So far its not even right to live together first according to the bible. I been reading everything from bible.com, to an interview with Terrance Howard in Elle magazine about why he went celibate in 2007. I thought I was doing everything right by waiting to be in a relationship which lead to my year long celibacy stint, BUT its really deeper than that and Its my personal objective to find out why is abstinence so important. So for the next few days I plan to study, read up on Gods word and figure out how I am to proceed in my further dealings with men.

I know how committed I am to becoming debt free and all its benefits and I really can’t imagine how life changing it would be to save myself for my husband. Struggle yes? worth it 100 times yes……

I will document my findings as I go and hope that others who read gain knowledge and understanding about purity and Gods word.

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It was 2 days shy of 13 months ago when I wrote the post Date or soul mate?. It was detailing the type of characteristics you would hope to find in a future husband or wife. I really had to give myself a pat on the back for summing up the book so well and giving my spin on it. Anyways I figured it would be a good time to revisit my idea of a good man (again) since I am newly single and entering back into the wonderful world of dating.

The last few days have been rather hard actually. Having to think about starting over and pushing myself out into the social scene can be pretty intimidating at first. This time around I do plan on taking things hopefully much slower than I have in the past BUT I will move forward with those guidelines I seem to have forgotten to take with me on that first date.

After being with my ex I realize how much more important it is to stick to the LIST. Although we may find someone who is seemingly right, you may tend to have issues with someone if everything doesn’t 100% check out. This isn’t to say be so strict but to be close as possible wouldn’t hurt at all. So my list once again isn’t really meant to be taken lightly although you are welcome to laugh and call me crazy, I just needed to put it on paper what Mik feels is a good rule of thumb to picking the right dude.

1. Must make more money than me or equal – If you think this is golddiggerish then your probably right lol. Even though I feel my situation wasn’t purely based on money most of it was, and it was the heart of the breakdown of my relationship. Some people make not like to believe relationships aren’t about money but trust a LOT of them are. So I am keeping this one just so we don’t have to deal with the broke ones. P.S i don’t make that much so it shouldn’t be hard lol.

2. Family ties – I admit I get into with my momma on the regular but at the end of the day we can call each other and laugh about what ever we had argued about before. I love my mom and my little brother and I would love to be with someone who shares my same sentiments.

3. Believes and knows God – Please believe I am NOT a bible thumper nor do I want to date one. but it is important to be with a man who recognizes a higher power and is not afraid to call on him in a time of need, or simply give some praise when he is blessing us. If I can say babe, lets go to church and he says sure would do me a lot of good cuz i need some Jesus right nah.

4. Good with Money- Not a penny pincher but knows how to balance being in a relationship and managing their own bills too. I don’t actually believe in participating in the recession because I am always looking for new ways to bring in money. If you can’t realize that dating cost, then maybe you just shouldn’t date because even though I am on a budget I still need some fun in my life. I don’t want a man who is a tight wad but I do want a man who looks towards the future financially and plans for that.

5. Can balance seriousness and goofiness – I am a silly girl by nature and it would do me good to laugh 24-7 if I could and I appreciate a man who can be silly at any given moment but I also want someone who can have a serious conversation about life in general and things that make us who we are, its just good for the soul.

6. Keeping me in check – Please do not mistake this for an IKE and Tina sitcho or now days Chris and ReRe, But a man who is cool with telling me no but also realizes how happy it makes me when he tells me yes. I love a man who can make decisions without needing a second opinion (Good decisions mind you) It just makes you feel so secure.

7. Educated – I am putting this back on my list because Mik is going back to school and I’m gonna need some help with homework lol.

So here is my list, there are a few things missing but if you are smart you know the things that aren’t on the list that I don’t actually NEED to mention……

Did I miss anything……

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Break up #2

Its official, my boyfriend has broken up with me. Now everybody im sure is like oh man what happen?? chile I don’t even know myself. I just know one minute I was mad, and the next he told me it was over. It happen not even a half hour ago, so I may be talking jumbly but I do know for a fact that its officially over for good.

I do know I did my best to keep the relationship going but it obviously wasn’t enough…..

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Its been an extremely eventful week/weekend. It started on Thursday when I was held hostage in my office at my second job due to babies momma drama with my co-worker. I tell you that has got to be the craziest thing I have ever experienced in my life to date. Friday and Saturday I worked into the wee wee hours of the morning making sure everything was caught up. I headed out for Detroit and managed to get some R&R time in with my family. Sunday we headed to church and had good eats afterwards.

Monday I was so exhausted from working and traveling that I decided to take the day off from my first job and try to work on a few things on my second while getting some much needed rest. I had been getting phone calls through out the day asking me where I was in the process of completion of a few projects. I had advised both my bosses that I was working but doing as little as possible. You would have thought that for 2 people that don’t have full time jobs they would have been able to finish up where I left off. Well around 6pm I get phone call asking me why everything is not done…… (blank stare) are ya kidding?? I had managed to complete 17 orders in 2 days and left them with 8, your telling me you can’t finish 8 orders by midnight? My boss says to me “well you know I type slow” and thats my problem because???

So I hung up the phone furious to the 10th degree that I had been checked so tough after just being praised 2 days ago about how well I had done. On top of all this I was not getting paid properly and had found an email from a past employee demanding payment after she quit 2 months ago. All this lead me to dial up the number at 10 pm to say guess what I QUIT!!! I did not appreciate being taken advantage of after all the work I have put in. Thankfully I had just called my co-worker (from my first job) resolving issues from previous days about the whole hostage fiasco a few days prior. She said she understood why I quit and said she tried to warn them about treating me right and they didn’t listen. She said that she would love to have me work with her and hopefully have things better organized than these two people. I honestly tried to work with them and give them chances to shape up but my first job is my priority and I can’t function with all the chaos between the two of them. I also can’t work without getting paid!!

These clowns also went as far as to threaten my license being “frozen” unaware that I work for the government who handles the license and would be verifying that this was not the case the very next day. I am so out done by these folks and relieved that I am no longer apart of the company. I really liked the job but you can not expect to be successful while treating people wrong. So on to my next adventure with my new partner, lets pray that the 2nd time is a charm.

stay tuned…..

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Incase anyone is wondering where the mikster has been, I have been extremely busy. My full time job has implemented some new programs that happen to all be a priority and, my 2nd job has me pretty much running the whole show. I am super tired these days but I am loving every moment of what I am doing.

This new job has opened up a ton of new doors, stressful? yes, worth it? totally. I am finally getting to work in the field I have been attempting to get into for about 4 years but never really had the right avenue and teachings. Working at my new job is teaching me a lot of things that I can apply even outside of work. I am learning how to delegate, organize 10 times better than what I did before because time is missed sleep and money in this field. Its also forcing me to be 100 times more accountable to my first job. I had to notify them that I was working somewhere else to make sure nothing I am doing interfere with my full time employment. I have been on time to work for the last 2 weeks, even while only getting a few hours of sleep because its much more important now that I don’t get caught slippin! Apparently I thrive off pressure not to be confused with stress.

Its been a wonderful couple of weeks for my career advancement and I can’t say how happy I am to have been given this opportunity. Most importantly I am earning extra income that can potentially lead to my debt freedom sooner, which is the greatest reward of all. Oh no mikki has NOT fallin off the debt free wagon, its just getting more intense. I think by the time this is all said and done I will have gone through 50,000 worth of bills to have been paid off, including keep up with my house payments, rent, beater with a heater, dating, buying properties and the list goes on. I can’t wait to add it all up and see how muchy my life was with all that debt.

So don’t fret I will check back in more often as I get time to write and talk about the other things going on in my life. Right now work is my focus and debt freedom is my goal!!

so hollaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!

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