SIDE TRACKED FROM FINANCIAL PEACE…….1 SEC OK

I’m being punk’d I have finally seen it all lol . This event is going down in the city of Detroit Feb 7th and yes I will be there(only being a body guard for my girl) LOL. I put pictures of up ALL the men that are to be in attendance as well as a few profiles that caught my eye.. I was beginning to see a lot of d j’s n rappers so called producers so I stopped reading after a few but this should be interesting

CEDRIC SCOTT, aka “Ced Lover” is a 5 year resident of Michigan, by way of South Carolina. This southern boy has been an on-air personality for 5 radio stations in SC and Michigan. He is currently in his 2nd year as the promotions director for HOT 102.7. He graduated from USC with a bachelors degree in Advertising and recently finished his Masters degree in Marketing. He likes cute faces, thin waists and a big behind. Ced says, “My credit score is over 700 AND I’m not currently paying any child support.”

TONE TONE. Grimy and clean are not words often used together unless you happen to have heard Tone Tone. A young, hip hop phenom from Detroit. With only six industry years under his belt, Tone has created quite a buzz in the mixtape circuit as well as with radio singles, “I Ain’t Playin’ Wit Cha,” “Luv da Way She Doin It,” & “What Up Doe.”

One of Detroit’s finest DJs… check him out every Friday night at the Elysium Lounge, or at the Palace, as he’s the Pistons and Shock’s official Sports & Entertainment DJ. He’s also spinning weekly at the Motor City Casino’s Radio Bar. Likes: all styles of music, women who are goal oriented and ambitious, and honesty!

Detroit’s Bad Boy” DJ Gary Chandler is a Detroit icon when it comes to the DJ game… having been with Radio One Detroit for four years, Gary is well known for making it bang on the air and in the club. Single with no children (yes, ladies, we said NO children!), some of Gary’s hobbies include watching movies and hanging out with his favorite homeboy, “Copper”, his four-year-old Pomeranian.

Drew aka “DRU DADA.” I am the Regional Market Manager for the Island Def Jam Music Group. I love music, sports and working. I don’t like women that smoke cigarettes. I am a proud parent of a 6yr old daughter (that is the #1 girl in my life right now). I travel and work a lot but always try to find time to enjoy the finer things in life

KEMARR aka “KEY DIEGO.” I am an Aquarius from Detroit. 5’8″ and 155lbs. I have a 1 year old daughter who needs a step mother. lol!

Dorian Richardson. Just a cool, confident, laid back type, with an unhealthy since of humor. Eastern Michigan University graduate who is currently working in Marketing/Education. A huge sports fanatic who enjoy basketball, and football and working out. I’m a strong advocate for family. In life I try my best to strive for excellence, because God is excellent. Live and learn, and leave past regrets behind, and move forward.

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PERSONALLY PISSED OFF!!!

It was 2:43pm, I was sitting at my lil desk at work typing up some labels for some stuff I had to mail out. The cell phone rings in a message alert and who is it, my little loving brother James. Now if yall dunno about James, he is my favorite (and only) lil brother, who is in Alabama attending his first year in college at Tuskegee University. His message reads “hey lil how are you? You don’t suppose you could send some spare change for your loving but struggling brother” Now if yall know me, I am the type to bitch and pitch a fit when it comes to dealing with James cuz sometimes we aren’t exactly treated fairly by mommy, but I love him to death and I do anything for him always when he ask. So I let him know I would put some funds in his account when I got of work and he happily replied “thank you so much”  

Now as I resume my work load I get to thinking to myself, where the FUCK is his father??? Now my mom is working her ass off having not even enough food to feed herself trying to pay for his college. The boy is holding down a 3.0 his first year and he is in the engineering program and he aint taking kiddy classes either. So I commend my mom for doing all she can to keep his butt in school. But his daddy is MIA. Now this man is not the typical dead beat no having job 10 kids man. He has worked a good job ever since I known him, separated from my mom (we have diff dads) then went to marry another woman and have 1 other child. Currently this nigga is living now in a big house drives 2 cars and affords to put his one lil munchkin in a private school somewhere to the tune of 3,000 a semester and she only in 1^st grade, but has yet to send my brother a dime. WTF is wrong with this picture???? I am angry on a whole nother level, because here you have a young man that has stayed out of trouble for his 18 years, went on to make something of himself without the help of his dad and he cant even ask you for a couple bucks for food for his dorm room??. He could be a drug dealer, gang banging, pants sagging weed smoking kid in the streets. But he is not. The boy goes to church even!!! What father in his right mind wouldn’t support his only son that’s doing so well? I just don’t get it. I know hate is a strong word but I’m tempted to use it. This man will and has shown up for all of my brothers sporting events acting like he somebody to other folks, thinking he actually participates in my brother’s life. I swear if I see him at my brother’s graduation I’m going to go off on him and try not to kill him because I seriously am sick and tired of this shit. 

 So to all yall dead beat fathers and yall know what dead beat means, don’t ever say a word to me about kickin it or hanging or anything of the sort, matter fact don’t even look my way if your not taking care of your kids ALL of them. Because I am utterly disgusted with you !!!!

 

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A little something extra

I found this video and thought it would be a nice addition to my space since im a Jill Scott fan thank you sista!!

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FINANCIAL PEACE (PART 2)

Ok now the painful part is out of the way. I had to explain my situation to yall folk cuz I mean people really don’t like to admit when they are having issues. I’m laying it out because you just never know if someone might be in the same predicament or worse.

Thankfully I still have a good job and now even a place to live where I don’t have to pay rent, and no its not the homeless shelter, moms, or new live in boyfriend. I will share this story another day. For now though this means I have a chance to make things right with my money so thats what Im going to do.

So now lets talk about a plan. I have been going to some classes called financial peace university. Dave Ramsey host of the Dave Ramsey show, has decided to help people take on financial problems by teaching via video tape. Now this ain’t the most conventional way to learn about money but it is actually working. Here is what I have learned so far.

Lesson 1

Create a budget. Being the simplest thing to do its actually the hardest. I haven’t lived on a budget in some ages but in order to get my money back right this is necessary. Dave Ramsey teaches you that we should account for every penny we bring in. If you have a budget your funds will always be allocated to something. So far I have learned how to live on 2 dollars lol. Yes folks when you have not you spend not. I have been learning the most important lesson and that is trying NOT to keep up with the Jones (MY FRIENDS) see for one I had to realize that Im 25 and most of my friends are a bit older than me so some of what they had took time to get, secondly my friends are in debt just like me so the grass isn’t always as green as you think. I am driving my moms beater with a heater and its the worst possible feeling. You would think I wouldn’t be so stuck on having a nice car but I forgot that back In the day I used to drive a car that was worse than the one she gave me. I am going to start telling people what you have doesn’t make who you are. This might save a lot of men and women from being in debt up to there eye balls. Anyways I plan to never finance another car and always pay cash for things I buy. Its all about our way of thinking.

Lesson 2

Create an emergency fund. Get$1,000 In the bank fast if you don’t have it already. This is for things that happen out of your control like a car break down or something of the sort. This is not funds for a club outfit or a date. Eventually you should have 3-6 months of expenses saved in the bank. But that comes later on in the plan.

Lesson 3

Pay off your debt. Easier said than done. But I looked at my homemade budget and realized that if I stuck to paying things off it would take me only a year an a half to get become virtually debt free and end up with some money in the bank. Now I’m not sure about you but a sacrifice for a year is much more worth it than to have a life time of headache. So This is going to be worked on in the coming phases and I will keep everyone posted on how I’m doing.

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FINANCIAL PEACE (PART 1)

I been debating all week what to write about in part one of financial peace. I have been going to financial classes for the past two weeks and I wanted to kinda talk about what I have learned so far but I think I need to have some type of order to my blog so people can fully understand start to finish. So part one will actually be about how I got in a financial mess and where I currently am.

I am not even sure If I can tell this story In short but I sure will try. If there is any consolation for where I am today financially, there was actually one point in my life where I had a good hold on my money. See I was around about 21 at the time and I had been living with my boyfriend of 3 years. He was actually very good with money (think it was a military thing) but he taught me everything I knew about how to budget and life was good. Anyways we broke up and my financial values fell to the wayside like bayside. I had to grow up pretty quickly and start doing for myself. Mind you I hadn’t ever lived by myself outside of being with my ex. So a sista had to grow quickly getting my very first apartment and a car to match I thought I had it all figured out. But life aint no fun when your sitting on the floor of your apartment because you have no furniture. So what did I do?? I called up the ole mighty credit card to buy me some stuff and well it all goes down hill from there…….

Later In life about 2 years down the line, Im working my good job living in my little cozy apartment. I was doing well but that son of a Honda I brought 2 years ago was cramping my style with no power windows or doors and worst of all no dang cruise control. Mind you I had already backslid from my good financial values and never really fixed the mess from before, but still my credit was good enough to get a new ride so I did. Lesson one never go into a car dealership by yourself. I walked in at about 2pm and walked out with a new 07 car at about 10pm. It was a Honda civic 07 complete with plenty bells and whistles to entertain me while driving. Now I know y’all like I know she didn’t!! yea o.k so a Honda wasn’t the most flashiest car but two things I knew was that it was cute and would always be reliable. So I have my car with my super high payments and crazy high insurance and life is o.k.

1 year later I’m feeling like I need another upgrade. I had been trying to make a home purchase for the past 2 years but with financial issues from before looming It was harder than usual. The housing market by this time though had fell into an extreme slump and homes had been being practically given away. I knew that No better time would come for me to buy a house so I did. Lesson # 2 never buy a house far away from where you work. This is what I did. See I had been living in Lansing home of (Michigan State) an hour from my home town Detroit Mi. But knowing how much I couldn’t stand where I lived currently, I figured Id buy my home In Detroit and move back when the jobs became more available. Well that never happened. So here I am commuting back and forth and unable to actually enjoy the home I brought no less than 6 months ago. Caught up In the world of home ownership I started buying stuff and fixing up my house to my liking and again my financial values was on the back burner. Remember good old Honda?? Well I had let my insurance laps because well see what had happen was……… Ok no real excuse other than I just didn’t want to pay it. Well Honda gets into a $6,000 car accident and the story ends there.

Present time. I decided to rent out my house so I could be closer to work and attempt to salvage the job I really can’t stand (took a 2 month hiatus without pay). Almost on the verge of being fired I am just now taking hold of my situation. Oh yea and Good ole Honda was repo’d yesterday. So there it is all laid flat out for everyone to see. $20,000 dollars In debt (not including my house) where does she go from here…….

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FINANCIAL PEACE (INTRO)

As much as I enjoy the constant banter between myself and fellow bloggers about love and relationships, I need to segway from those issues and dedicate a few blogs to a subject that deserves an equal amount of attention “MONEY”.

One of the main reasons I started my blog roll, was to give an HONEST account for things that happen to me on a daily basis. Blogging is my attempt to put those happenings in prospective. In writing about relationships and self discovery, I found that my postings were lacking an issue that tends to plague me the most. Now I don’t know if money is an issue for other people, but it certainly is a reoccurring problem for me. However I do understand that finances tend to be a touchy subject, which is why most often it gets dumped and replaced with relationship talk. But how can we become better people if we don’t account for “EVERYTHING” we deal with including money.

In the next few post, I am going to allow bloggers to take part in my financial peace journey. You are welcome to sympathize, learn, critique, or simply read and keep it moving. What I plan to gain from this is a true understanding of what it takes/took for me to get from financial bondage to financial freedom (failure is not an option). Maybe in the process it will inspire others to partake in financial stabilization. After all it is the basis of most healthy relationships “when done correctly that is” so here we go……..

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Pingback attack!!!

To ping or not to ping that is the question…..

After everyone explaining it to me(100 times) I think I finally understand how to do a pingback. So SBM here is to you my friend!!!! Me and ping are going to be great friends!! Ok next on the list of things to learn TRACKBACKS anybody care to give me a lesson?

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THE BLACK WOMAN’S GUIDE TO MARRYING WELL

FYI this is not a tutorial lol. (disclaimer) I can’t even get the boyfriend part right let alone marriage lol. However this blog is about a recent post I found on a website. Currently they are scouting for professional single women to come on there show, and the first thing I noticed was a comment about the overwhelming response to the new tv show. It mentioned the fact that over 5,000 woman have applied. Now here is where my problem comes to play. If you go to the website you can find the application and It is extremely extensive. worse than any reality tv show I have seen, on top of that you still need 5 minute video and 1 page paper about your dating life. Hello!!! am I in college all over again or what. So 5,000 + ladies have applied does anybody see a problem other than me??? If you have that much time on your hands to fill out this application and actually submit it then you have to much time on your hands hints the reason you are still single. Not trying to be funny but I hear the numbers in dating are to our advantage so get out and date!!!

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WELCOM TO NARCISSIM 101. ARE YOU A NARCISSISIICKIS!

Fellow bloggers and I (since Im mostly the only one here 99.999% of the time)

I have decided to post on this specific topic because I keep hearing about it. It came up In a couple of relationship books I was reading and then here it is in my comments so it must be for me to write about either that or Im reading way to much into the word itself. at any rate I wasn’t to sure on what it meant until I did some further reading. Now keep in mind there are extreme cases of narcissism and mild, and we all have some traits of it but who is actually willing to admit to it !! I DARE YOU!!! Here are a few symptoms of NPD (Narcissistic Personality disorder)…..

1. has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
3. believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
4. requires excessive admiration
5. has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
6. is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
7. lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
8. is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

Here are some more signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder to look out for:

• Jealousy and possessiveness
• Excessive need to feel special, adored, loved, appreciated, or admired
• Rage attacks when you do not sufficiently meet his/her needs
• Controlling behaviors (trying to control how you spend your time, who you talk to, how you dress, etc.)
• Inflated self-esteem, or grandiosity (bragging, “fishing” for compliments)
• Dramatic, insecure behaviors
• Expecting you to take responsibility for making him/her feel better about him/herself
• Blaming you for behaviors or feelings (i.e., “YOU made me do this,” or “YOU made me feel this way.”)
• Not taking responsibility for angry behavior and justifying angry outbursts
• An attitude that demonstrates “the world revolves around me” and “you need to cater to my ideas, opinions, thoughts, and feelings.”
• An unwillingness to reflect on his/her own behaviors
  

Ok now that you know what some one with NPD looks like how many friends are you going to ditch?? Ok im joking don’t do that..

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Jam Of The Week….

Ok I simply love this song..

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