Archive for April, 2008

Recently I was having a discussion with “D” about education and how important it is to “get that paper” After the conversation was over I really wondered if I tend to be bitter towards those privileged to have gone on to higher education. The answer is yes I am to a certain point. I have a problem when people act like college is the end all be all to success in life.

Those of you that aren’t aware (as if you can or can’t tell by how I write) I do not REPEAT I do NOT have a college degree. At this particular stage in life I have no intentions on finishing college and I will tell you why later on in this post.

During my conversation with “D” he pointed out that you won’t find to many educated black men dating a woman that has less than he does, yet I know A lot of educated women that do just the opposite all the time which is puzzling. Most of my adult life I have dated men with Degree’s and so far most of them have been not to my liking but I still find myself gravitating towards them not because they finished college but because they actually work and make a decent living as do I (for where I live), I really don’t discriminate it just always happens like that. I don’t believe that my lack of a degree makes me any less than a woman because I find men all the time that enjoy my conversation and probably wouldn’t know I didn’t posses a degree had I not told them. I do find that when it comes to long term, men tend to shy away from me and one of my fears was because I didn’t/don’t have a degree but the fear has past mostly because education doesn’t trump over cheaters, liers, jerks, and idiots which a lot of educated and non educated men seem to be these days.

I am an advocate of higher education. I believe one needs it to gain some type of meaningful employment and in most cases you really can’t survive on minimum wage these days. Further more I will tell my future children that skipping college is not an option because its always better to be over qualified than under and I wan’t them to have the best opportunities. What I will not let them believe is that having a piece of paper makes you so called “better” than the average joe. I want them to know there is more to life than corporate america and to really make it out there you gotta make your own money. I don’t want them thinking that just because they have a degree in art history some how entitles them to a better life and more money. You still have to get along with people, you still have to get to work on time, out perform your pers, play butt kisser to your boss, all while staying true to who you are and your degree isn’t a magic pill for being a go getter. There are a tone of educated fools who can’t seem to make a living to save their life, and there are others who never completed college yet make millions every day such as Henry Ford II, George Romney, J Paul Getty,Woody Allen, Bill Gates, Lawrence Ellison, Michael Dell, David Geffen, H. Wayne Huizenga Blockbuster Video Billionaire, and the owner of the Miami Dolphins, Florida Panthers, and Florida Marlins who stayed only three semesters at Calvin College in Grand Rapids Michigan, this is to name a few (btw I just google them).

Now I am not trying to give off the idea that people should drop out of school and automatically assume the roll of millionare, if anything black folk need an education more than any race on the planet. I am saying that to some extent you don’t need a degree to make it in life. I have a lot of friends who are college educated and I applaude them and love them for their contribution to society as teachers, engineers, police officers (not so much), nurses, doctors, writers, graphic designers and the list goes on. One of my best friends has a college degree and publishes this local paper and does a fine job but she works for herself and doesn’t punch ANYONES clock which is what I admire about her, she will tell you on any given day that college is not what got her to the point of running a successful business and doing what she loves actually it was a supportive husband, but I won’t go there about how our culture has a sense of every man for themselves, I think us putting our heads and money together trumps 100 times over rather than the you get yours I get mine on my own with my $75k salary mentality but I digress.

Far to many people go into debt for a degree that has nothing to do with main stream america, and automatically think they are some how cool for the simple fact they finished college, hello last time I checked your art degree doesn’t help any one, nor does the one you have in the history of sumo wrestling (made that up) but you get my point. I for one don’t plan to be 50k in student loan debt just to make a mere 30k until someone decides I deserve a raise. (also a sad fact of a few of my fellow college educated friends)

I have been in and out of college for the past oh say 7 years. when I gratuated from high school I immediately enrolled into a community college. I found myself later though wanting to work a full time job as well, my mom didn’t even think I was college material and really she still feels the same today, she never once helped me pay for college. I quit because I couldn’t handle work and school and really wasn’t keen on the idea of a bunch of loans. Later on about 3 years ahead I went back to school. I was living with my ex boyfriend at the time and he offered to provide free living while I attended school, but I still had to pay for it which meant again either student loans or work. Well I chose work again but after while I quit school yet again because I needed my own money and couldn’t see asking a man to give me gas money. Fast forward 3 more years I finally work a steady job and could afford to go back to school so I did, Eventually my ADD kicked in and I got tired of doing the school and work thing. Here I am today still not finished with college. I know a lot of people say well such n such did it with 3 kids and no man so why can’t you? Yea I feel you on this but at this point its really a matter of lack of motivation with a mix of school sucks and road blocks that has led me to say fuck em, shit I can only take so many set backs. I have come to the conclusion that I don’t hold a high value for college in respects of getting into corporate america because I already work for corporate america and it sucks to be quite honest. If I do go back it will be much later in life when I marry a rich man who pays for it and takes care of me (jusk kidding). The other reason I don’t think college is worth my time is because the field I wan’t to go into doesn’t call for it. I want to become Real Estate broker and eventually own my own real estate company. Last time I checked a college degree wasn’t required. Besides I know far to many people who have degree’s in business that can’t run a business to save a life.

I have always been a go getter and I hardly consider myself a lazy person. I work 2 jobs and have always worked since I was 17. I have achieved a lot of things and plan to continue my success. I do agree My progress may not be as expediant on a 35,000 a year salary but I have plans to get where I want to be which has more to do with planning vs dollars at this point. Now if in fact you see me still working for the man making 35k a year 10 years from now then just slap me and say take your ass back to school, but I feel the idea of college is far less relevant when your worth a million + at age 35 and have your own business which I have 10 years to get to that place. There has yet to be a time where I have entered into the work world with the assumption that I couldn’t have a good JOB and my confidence have proven such that I can obtain a decent living. I know I can’t go walking into a hospital demanding I do an emergency sergery on Mr Smith, just like I can’t walk into Ford motor company demanding they put me on payroll and let me build an engine because im “cute”. I totally get that, but for the jobs such as secretary, customer service rep, sales person, cook I can easy get provided I have the know how and skill. This is ok for me until I can venture off into business for myself. Also in spite of my degree I have managed to purchase a home, keep a job, and live a comfortable life, so what I don’t wear the latest fashions or drive a lex and can’t take trips to jamaca on the regular but last time I checked you put your vacation on credit so please don’t judge me. If its about more money over the long haul then yea “D” is right as long as I work for corp America without a degree I will always make less but a lot of what makes up our good economy is not the CEO of Walmart, its the small coffee shop with 4 employees, or the auto repair place that Bill stared in his garage that grew over time, or that cake lady that can bake like nobodies business on any given day. Withouth these people our economy wouldn’t exist. I could name a ton of professions that don’t need college degree’s ie, day care providers (if you love working with kids) chefs (if you want to provide the food for dream weddings) designers (when you wanna design outfits for folk like beyonce) yep you don’t need a degree you need fashion sense, God given talent, creativity and the entuprenurial spirit which no amount of college can give you.

I don’t want to change anyones views on college, like I said we need doctors, lawyers, teachers and social workers, but I will maintain my stance that drive, ambition, and focus will get you your dream career, not JOB. If this means a man won’t date me then so be it, I won’t hold it against you just don’t call me when I am rich asking me can we go out for drinks n laughs cuz I will be the one on top BELIEVE THAT!!



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Tag Fever.

Spreading fast in the blog world…..

Hadassah tagged me so this is how it goes

1. Link the person who tagged you…

2. Mention the rules in your blog…

3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours

4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them

5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged

6 unspectacular quirks

1. Nothing about me is unspectacular I’m FABULOUS! (Joking ok) Umm I had the same pair of gym shoes since 05 and just last week I threw them away.

2. I tried to give my cat to the humane society one day cuz she was peeing on my floor, I told them she was really potty trained but was just acting a fool for some unsuspecting reason. Well they told me if she didn’t pee she wouldn’t be adopted and eventually (in so many words) they would kill her!! I am spreading the word Humane society kills animals!!!!! run for your livessssss!!!

3. I think I am the only female who thinks pms is the stupidest thing, I mean I know we all have cramps but seriously do we have to get crazy and act a fool on folk for a week? I’m sorry if your a bitch your just a bitch and your period didn’t make you that way so try again.

4. I keep trying new versions of cookies and cream ice cream to see which one taste the best, so far this off brand flavor is winning.

5. I have a bad memory

6. I always ask people’s advice on everything and then argue with them about the answer.

I am gonna tag nobody today this post was premade, its friday and I spent a week thinkin about who to tag seems the folk I wanted been tagged already, now I am taking the day off to enjoy cramping! yay for me !!

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I finally Got around to changing the title of this post, and now its fitting. The saying goes “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free” Now its more free milk everywhere. So my approach is more like “Put a down payment on the cow and you have 90 days to pay in full”

Today I was here doing some reading about sex and relationships and it got me to thinking about my current situation. Right now I am single and about 8 months or so ago, I committed myself to being sex free, celibate, born again virgin what ever you want to label it. After reading the post I started to get a bit of jealousy in me and it brought me here. I know as a woman I have had the luxury of being able to have sex with whomever I so choose (for the most part) But when I decided not to have sex until I was in a serious relationship, I realized how hard it was going to be to actually find someone I was compatible with. So far that has left me without “Getting some” I have been ok with it for the most part, but when you here about “Everybody else” getting theirs you start to wonder about what your missing or not missing.

For the most part I don’t think I have missed much. I don’t miss being called at random hours asking what I got up for the night, I don’t miss wondering if the guy I was seeing had other females he kicked it with, I don’t miss not getting gifts on birthdays and holidays because I was “just a jump off” or a “Friend with a benefit”. As for the positives of having sex well I guess I’d say I wouldn’t be in such a pissy mood twice a week had I been getting it on the regular.

Most of the negative reasons are why I got out of having sex for pleasure. It was cool for a while but I started to realize I wanted more and If I had to wait for sex to get it then I would rather do that, as appossed to being dumped or having some other woman being chosen over me. I think the reason we get off into the friends with benefits is because we don’t want to put in real work as far as relationships are concerned. It would require being tagged just about 24/7, remembering every holiday, birthday, anniversary, keepin up with who rubbed whose back last, and who was the last one to make a romantic dinner. I mean seriously everybody is on this career tip so tough that a real relationship just seems so last on the list of things to do but we still want to “get ours”. I honestly don’t think anything is wrong with not being in a relationship but for me I have come to a point where I need some stability mainly so that I don’t have to ask you if you can come over and “Do me” only to be told well im at the gym or I gotta work late or im finna go here or there or everywhere, “but I can hit u up later”like a friend with b’s or a jump off would do. Not sayin they are always not on point but half the time its not good to depend on them. Another reason is because I think the no commitment gives us an easy out for when we cheat on eachother, I know for me if a dude tried to call me out the first thing I would say is “your not my man” that always will shut him up fast about questioning me on where I am at and stuff and same goes for the man.

Now I do realize there are hardships in relationships too but for the most part if you are working towards something long term the arguments can be worked through. I know we all are about money and getting tight, but what happens when it comes time to be married. Are you going to know honestly how to be in a real relationship or will you spend half your marriage trying to adjust to being with someone full time and having to be accounted for. For me the time is now. I don’t plan on satisfying my sexual urges for something that doesn’t amount to much, my hormones aren’t that outta control.

On the other hand if you have always been one to be in a relationship then the whole sex issue doesn’t really figure into what I am talking about. I really have only had 1 relationship and I don’t come by to many guys who say they want me to be their woman. I do know I would give almost anything to have that stability I had when I wasn’t single. Right now am not willing to accept much less than that. To me when a man says he wants to be with me means he is ready to be a man and put in the work it takes to pull off a good relationship not saying that all men are on point but most don’t talk about relationships unless they really want to go there. If I haven’t become that woman that every man wants to commit to then I guess I got to get working, but until I get there this sista will be sexless which is probably in so many ways part of the process.

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Dave Ramsey Plan

I been slackin on My FPU (Financial Peace University) post. So here is a nice little update as much as I can fill in before I hit the sack (tired).

Last week was my final FPU class. It was a lotta fun, we had a big pow wow bbq. Our instructor was able to update us on how well we had done in the 14 week period. When we started, the class had a combined total of $530,000 in debt. In 14 weeks the class had paid off $87,000 in total (ie credit cards, cars, other stuff) We also managed to save $25,000 in emergency funds!! Go class!! Mind you we all started with about 0 dollars in the bank (including me) I was able even after all the set backs to save about $1,500 which feels good to have money in the bank even though its not much. I am so proud of my class, my instructor said he didn’t even expect for everyone to do so good but yea we showed him. Anyways another class will be offered this summer and I will be helping out with some of the sessions which I am going to love love love!!

The class really has put me on a path to success, today I told someone I was going to retire at 35 there response was “good luck” Honestly I won’t retire I just won’t be working where I currently work, I plan to be fully committed to the realestate industry which I can make my own hours and it will be what I love doing.

Since I have been successful I have been telling more people (Without beating them over the head with it) how well the program has worked for me. I brought a book for my tenant and I am passing around the TMMO book my mom gave me for christmas. I swear you have to fight with people to get stuff back sometimes, thats why if somebody ask me for a book I would hope to in the future be able to give it as a gift and if they read it or not thats on them. Most people have had good responses and some not so sure, but I guess I can’t win every battle I just have to show n tell.

Over all I just want to let people know this program is not just about getting out of debt its about planning your future. Up until now all I saw for myself was me working a 9-5 trying to keep current on bills and pray I live to retire. Now I don’t even worry about what my next 5-10 years will be like because I am excited. I see myself being a finance teacher and realtor. My house will be paid off and I should be making somewhere around $50,000 and doing some extensive traveling with my boo (non existent right nah). Now thats not a lot but if I have not one bill (not even a house payment) then 50k starts looking good. I may even save up for my dream wedding lol. Point is I think I will be much happier without bills looming over my head.

Dave’s plan works even if you have no debt, You might have no debt but have no savings of any kind. Or maybe you need to plan start planning for retirement or to make your first home purchase. Maybe you have money to invest and don’t know how to. What ever it is there is something in the program everyone can benift from even something as small as knowing about Insurance.

I am going to try to make sure I update people on how well or not so well I am doing. There will be and have been set backs but now I am fully prepared to deal with them as they come, at least financially which makes it a bit less stressful.



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So I met this guy online a couple weeks or so ago, and last night we finally decided to meet up. I am not exactly sure what it is about me and online dating, but its been apart of my life for a good while now (actually I do know but its a longer story). As most people think its rather strange to date online, but I must save I have only had one extremly odd date which lookin back its actually funny let me tell u this story then I will share the date from last night.

Ok so I was on this site called blackpeoplemeet.com This was one site I had actually decided to pay for (10 bucks a month) The site ended up being a smörgåsbords for people with kids and i really couldn’t see paying for that. They shoulda changed it to blackpeoplewithmultiplekidsmeet.com because that was more of what it was. Anyway so i met this rather dashing man which also had a kid but It was ok. He picked me up from my house (please dont insert how dangerous this is) and we headed out to the olive garden. He wasn’t exactly my cup of tea but he was in my opinion “doable”. So anyways we get to the resturant and everything is going great, we laugh, joke, gaze into each others eyes and all that good stuff. So durring dinner he made this comment I thought was rather funny said ” u know the only reason I am on this date is so I can sleep with u” I laughed so hard wine almost came out my nose, I mean I knew he was telling the truth but still it sounded funny with him saying it like that. So I was like “yea eventually we may” U know we can pretty much tell weither we want to sleep with some one right when we meet them the “attraction meter”.

After dinner he asked what I wanted to do and I said I wasn’t ready to go home, so he suggested his place and I agreed it was fine. His home was pretty nice, it was toys everywhere from his son, which made me kinda warm n fuzzy inside. Anyways we sat n talked about kids, ex’s and all that. He told me about how he got custody of his son by deeming his baby momma crazy, which I thought was cool cuz not many men actually go through the trouble. After talking I ventured off into the living area where a collection of music was sitting, prince was on the top shelf and maxwell followed. So I flipped though the collection and we talked about our likes in music and When I moved into the kitchen I leaned up against the counter top. He put his arms around me and started kissin on me. At first it was cool then he got a lil overly aggressive so I pushed him away lil. He was like don’t u like me?? wait let me rewind to where this argressivness came from….

so yea we are sitting on the couch and I asked the stupidest question known to all men on a first date. and it was “So?? What do you think about sleeping with someone on the first date”. Now!!! I was not by any means trying to imply that I do this, but OBVIOUSLY he took this as “she wants me now” and yea that was dumb on my part but who knew??

So back to kitchen.

“yea I like u but u movin a lil to fast bruh”

so he backs off a bit and I told him it was late and I needed to go home to get my meds (I do have asthma) so my lack of breathing bailed me out that night.

So back in the car things are cool again so I felt nice enough to invite him inside again bad idea I know. anyways I turn on some slow jams and eventually we make it to my bedroom and we are laying down talking. I had informed him that nothing was going to happen but he figured otherwise since he was now layin in my bed with no shirt on but I some how still thought he was smart enough not to go there again. So we are laying and talking and I say so ” whats your idea of romance” and he goes “yep I see where this is headed” and proceeds to get up to leave.

I say umm where ya going?? He says home. I say why? and it goes down hill from here…..

He was like yea so its obvious your not going to sleep with me tonight so I should be leaving. me “blank stare” “Huh??”

let me let you in on something my dear, see im one of the good guys and its obvious that you failed to realize this so I have to go. See most women I meet I sleep with on first dates and since YOU yes YOU brought up the question about sleeping with a guy on the first date that it was on and poppin.

I said man I am soooooooooooo sorry I lead you to think that but it was just a question!!!!

“YEA but wtf would you ask a question like that??

Again my bad but I mean are u seriously mad about it?

Yea for the simple fact that women like you let wack ass men run all over you and play you and u sleep with them like its nothing but then A good guy comes along and we get no love….

But I just met u today are you kidding?

Do you know who I am? I am mutha fuckin super man!!! I am the best nigga u will ever meet in your life!! My ex was smart enough to know it so u should be too!

I am sorry boo im not your ex……

(ok this argument goes on for another hour) eventually he left, but I was in true shock, superman?? really??? I can’t believe he said that. So he dumped me because i didn’t put out on the first night. and that was by far the craziest date ever.

So back to last night. I was pretty much determined to keep our date as simple and light hearted as possible. Normally my first dates consist of talking about ex’s and bad break ups and people we hate and why we hate them. This time was different even though he tried to talk about his ex a little I quickly changed the conversation. We ended up getting fast food (Which I offered to pay for my half) He really thought that was nice of me (Since I actually pulled out the cash) but he paid for it and said thanks for the offer. We went to the bowling alley and bowled two games. It was actually pretty fun even though he beat me twice.

He brought me home and we ended with hugs. I really dunno what he thought of me but I guess I will know later.

I am trying to take a difference approach to dating overall. Not to get so caught up in who it is and just have a good time which I did. “D” says im growing up, I say its about time!


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This is where it all started……Where It all begain

The good kids used to hang here

Then The Mayor Got hold of em….

Now they hang here…….

and here………

They get there pimp gear here….

and come out lookin like this…..

oh yes we got white mike pimps too!

Got 75 cents?

The Bus driver even rides dirty!

But he know where U can get cha eat on for 5 bucks a plate!

And spend all ya money too!!

This used to be the mayors favorite spot.

Now he is a regular here……

Unfortunately the pimp didn’t want to come with him

so now the pimp is on the corner doing this…..

You may catch him recording a song or two here….

he might perform with Morris Day & The Time here

then the friend of the court takes his money

but he gets paid under the table here

this is how he hides from the police..

Disclaimer thats not a real pimp thats my little brother James

he made his momma proud

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1. I woke up at 8am

2. I realized I was on “E” on my way to detroit

3. 20 dollars got me less than a half a tank

4. I had to keep flippin the radio stations for what seemed like 2 hours because they wouldn’t play music, just all talk and i don’t have a cd player

5. I spent 6 dollars on pantie hose

6. I got lost looking for the church

7. I didn’t even get a chance to see the body and I wasn’t late I just didn’t know what “precession meant”

8. A soloist sounded like an american idol reject

9. My feet started barking from walkin to long

10. My cat peed in her cage and now the bathroom smells terrible

11. I ate to much

12. I realized I still have to work on friday

13. I got an email from my boss saying she is moving my desk so she can “Watch me”

14. I realized I actually have to do “Work” now

Yet I am Thankful

I woke up,

and was able to put 20 dollars in my tank even though it was less than half,

I still had a car to drive despite the lack of a cd player,

and money to pay for those 6 dollar pantie hose

I did make to the church on time even though I got lost

and because I didn’t see the body I am left with the memory of a smile on Tamekas face

that girl sang her heart out in an act of love,

and I had legs to walk to the grave site

and pinky smells but she is finally back home with her momma mikki,

I had food to eat and some dont have food at all

its friday and i can look forward to relaxing this weekend because its been a long one,

and I still have my job to go to tho my boss could have had me fired long ago she didn’t

the work I do is to help people build businesses in michigan and that makes it all worth it…..

The end


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