This blog stems from another blog I recently read about. The blog was about what we call (FCF’S) better known as fundamental character flaws and what they are exactly. I took each of the words and decided to break them down and give my take on the subject matter. Lets start with the first word
1. fun·da·men·tal
belonging to one’s innate or ingrained characteristics : deep-rooted
based on this definition Nail Bitting is not an FCF, nor is a man or woman having children, or someone wanting to pick there nose all the time.
2. char·ac·ter
one of the attributes or features that make up and distinguish an individual.
and example of this would be silly, reserved, and romantic.
3. Flaw
a defect, fault, or imperfection.
A scar on my leg, freckles, big feet (ok from a womans perspective big feet are a good thing on men lol )
With these definitions in mind one would be led to believe that FCF’S isn’t something that one can change, but is this really the case????
I recently had been faced with having to tell people how long I have been single. Yes it has actually been close to 4 years now. The popular question is why so long whats wrong with you? (My FCF’s) Well now I think I may have an answer.
When I talk to a lot of people the first thing i hear them say is “I’m picky” People have so many gripes and hang-ups about the opposite sex, but have you ever thought that it might be YOU thats the issue?? Being 25 I am starting to see myself in a completely different light (tends to happen when your single). One thing I noticed is that I tend to be insecure. Worrying whether someone is feeling me, if I’m saying the right things or even if I look good enough. You may not say things directly about being insecure but it still can show. (The ladies know what I mean by this).
The other problem is planning a future with men I just meet. You know how you start to fantasize about a wedding dress, a baby, a house with a white picket fence lol. What this does for a woman is set a man completely up for failure. Right off you have the perfect vision of the two of you together and happy. When he does something you don’t agree with right off, your whole vision of happiness with him dwindles away. The two of you are over before you start. Momma always said don’t put your eggs in one basket but further more stop expecting men to be your everything right away. We spend to much time fantasizing rather than asking questions and getting to know someone, If we don’t expect a man to be perfect in the beginning we will be less disappointed when he lets us down.
Last but not least, I tend to think I am compatible with EVERY man. in layman’s terms I think I am the shit. It would seem obvious to know that we don’t all have the same interest but this is not the case. I for one Don’t care about technology, cars, politics, or High definition tv’s. Not to say I can’t learn, but its not something that would lead me to strike up an hour long conversation. However if you ask me about Real Estate, financial planning, or I love New York 2, I might be able to tell you a thing or two. I believe two people from totally different backgrounds can certainly take interest in the others passions but there has to be a desire on both ends. What is a relationship(outside of physical attraction) if there is nothing to talk about????
My point is to say we all have flaws. Things can be changed or improved upon but you have to want it. Not saying change everything about you, but acknowledge the things that might keep you from being with someone and attempt to work on them. Don’t forever live by the saying “take me as I am” If you do you might end up single for longer than you anticipate. If you are always known to leave your draws on the floor and a woman you like comes along and says pick them up, I doubt your gonna say take me as I am.
So what are your own FCF’s
Mikki
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