Archive for the ‘My Thoughts’ Category

It was 2 days shy of 13 months ago when I wrote the post Date or soul mate?. It was detailing the type of characteristics you would hope to find in a future husband or wife. I really had to give myself a pat on the back for summing up the book so well and giving my spin on it. Anyways I figured it would be a good time to revisit my idea of a good man (again) since I am newly single and entering back into the wonderful world of dating.

The last few days have been rather hard actually. Having to think about starting over and pushing myself out into the social scene can be pretty intimidating at first. This time around I do plan on taking things hopefully much slower than I have in the past BUT I will move forward with those guidelines I seem to have forgotten to take with me on that first date.

After being with my ex I realize how much more important it is to stick to the LIST. Although we may find someone who is seemingly right, you may tend to have issues with someone if everything doesn’t 100% check out. This isn’t to say be so strict but to be close as possible wouldn’t hurt at all. So my list once again isn’t really meant to be taken lightly although you are welcome to laugh and call me crazy, I just needed to put it on paper what Mik feels is a good rule of thumb to picking the right dude.

1. Must make more money than me or equal – If you think this is golddiggerish then your probably right lol. Even though I feel my situation wasn’t purely based on money most of it was, and it was the heart of the breakdown of my relationship. Some people make not like to believe relationships aren’t about money but trust a LOT of them are. So I am keeping this one just so we don’t have to deal with the broke ones. P.S i don’t make that much so it shouldn’t be hard lol.

2. Family ties – I admit I get into with my momma on the regular but at the end of the day we can call each other and laugh about what ever we had argued about before. I love my mom and my little brother and I would love to be with someone who shares my same sentiments.

3. Believes and knows God – Please believe I am NOT a bible thumper nor do I want to date one. but it is important to be with a man who recognizes a higher power and is not afraid to call on him in a time of need, or simply give some praise when he is blessing us. If I can say babe, lets go to church and he says sure would do me a lot of good cuz i need some Jesus right nah.

4. Good with Money- Not a penny pincher but knows how to balance being in a relationship and managing their own bills too. I don’t actually believe in participating in the recession because I am always looking for new ways to bring in money. If you can’t realize that dating cost, then maybe you just shouldn’t date because even though I am on a budget I still need some fun in my life. I don’t want a man who is a tight wad but I do want a man who looks towards the future financially and plans for that.

5. Can balance seriousness and goofiness – I am a silly girl by nature and it would do me good to laugh 24-7 if I could and I appreciate a man who can be silly at any given moment but I also want someone who can have a serious conversation about life in general and things that make us who we are, its just good for the soul.

6. Keeping me in check – Please do not mistake this for an IKE and Tina sitcho or now days Chris and ReRe, But a man who is cool with telling me no but also realizes how happy it makes me when he tells me yes. I love a man who can make decisions without needing a second opinion (Good decisions mind you) It just makes you feel so secure.

7. Educated – I am putting this back on my list because Mik is going back to school and I’m gonna need some help with homework lol.

So here is my list, there are a few things missing but if you are smart you know the things that aren’t on the list that I don’t actually NEED to mention……

Did I miss anything……

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I finally got around to making the transition to my new finance blog Anitrasplace.net. The site is dedicated to everything you can think of about money. It was inspired partly by the comeback girl and my friend brad who has been running his financial blog for a while now.

Originally my blog (ie this one), was created to journal my everyday struggles in life. It was almost a year ago when my life took a turn for now what seems to be a beatiful journey to becoming a woman. I didn’t realized how in 7 months things had changed and my blog was starting to reflect the things that are important to me.

The new blog is less personal and more financial advise driven. Comeback girl says building wealth shouldn’t have to be so painful and she for sure can tell you how she thinks im in pain lol. So I want to share my financal accomplishments with the world as well as share the methods I am using to get there. All while keeping it light and fun. I still plan to “keep it real” I just want people to feel comfortable talking about the issue that we face everyday as a nation.

I still plan to keep this blog to talk about whatever else, but mostly its now my history book. I am extremly proud of the things I have accomplish this past year and I am looking forward to a great year in 2009 when I am completely debt free.

So check out the new site, its fun and you can learn a few things too!! Its just us girls (and a guy lol) talking about how to save money, build wealth and be better people.

Thank you for being a reader, I love all 5 of you!!!

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Well my fellow blogger friends, Since I moved my rants and raves about debt over to my friends site I can now get back to the business of talking about other stuff! Sorry the debt stuff just over came me!!

Anyways yesterday I was talking to my good friend about people we used to sleep with and why. He went on to describe a girl that was all of about a -8 outta 10 in the looks department and he had no intentions on ever I repeat EVER being in a relationship with her. As all woman, we think men will sleep with just about anything walking But this girl had something special. She could put it down in the bed like no one he had ever meet in his life. He went on to give me all the details clearly and vividly about some woman he knew all of 10 years ago!! I think he actually made his self hard while talking about it (sorry) but he did!

Anyways as I listened to him rant I couldn’t help but think about that one guy (yes one) that I currently hold every man to his bar for (which is VERY HIGH). The man knew how to flip it, smack it and rub it down. I knew every time I would see him that I would not be disappointed when we got busy and well I still think about it like it was yesterday just like my friend does. But he was someone in spite of his sexual capabilities he and I had no right to be together. I often wondered why I would keep dealing with our fights, and bickering over dumb stuff and for a minute I thought I loved the man. But my friends it wasn’t love it was the other L word, Lust.

I know sometimes its hard to keep the two separated, but I swear everytime you hear your friend say oh she put a brick in his window, or I got a ppo on that crazy b*tch for putting a knife on my pillow with red kool-aid on it and a note saying “imma kill yo ass*. No my friends this is not love like you think, this is straight up lust. I mean I know we have all fell in love a time or two, but sex good sex can make you do way more crazy ish than love ever could. I know, even though I have never put peanut butter n somebodies gas tank I sure have thought about it, and I know it wasnt cuz I loved that foo!!

Anyways once I figured out that it wasn’t love, I was able to let go of the situation. I think we all need to take a step back and analyze why we stay with people who aren’t capable of making us happy outside of sex. Trust me its good for the soul and whatever, but word of advise don’t go dumping you lust buddy until you can be with someone you love, dont want u to get fired from you job because you threw a computer out of a window (i have never done this).

So good people, who do you love lust???

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Its been a rough but good last few weeks. I have been paying off debt left and right and It really feels good, but I have been working my tail off doing so. Working 2 jobs is a mutha sucka at times. Right now I am feeling A little down and overwhelmed and let me tell ya why.

My relationships over the past few weeks haven’t been the greatest. I told someone to kick rocks because I didn’t like their glasses. I have a thing for clean cut men, but one must understand clean cut is not the equivalent of dorky looking. I know I can be shallow but attraction is a big thing for me and well I don’t really need to explain do I?? Anyways I think I hurt his feelings but even still, there was still other factors that overall caused me to make a decision on the more negative side. After I broke the news about being “just friends” he informed me that he is going to start being mean to women because being nice doesn’t get you anywhere. I had lots to say on that but thats a whole other post lol. Anywhoot I really superly think its time for a break……….period.

Other things going on have to do with work, debt and a few other endeavors I wish to embark on. I am going to be taking on a new goal that involves my full time job. I haven’t exactly been the best employee when it comes to getting to work. I am the one who is always late, and always leaving early. Last week I did my time sheet and it just looked like who did it why and what for, I had been running errands, leaving in the middle of the day, and getting to work pretty much when i felt like it. My boss didn’t say anything but I knew she was like what tha?? So starting this past Monday I have made a commitment to getting to work on time and not taking days off for the next 1.5 years (long time eh). I always take a day off here and there never really building any vacation time and im always in the negative. Well when the time comes for me to be outta debt I suspect I am going to want to celebrate by going some place. This task itself is overwhelming but I am going to really stick to it as best I can.

Also I am looking in to purchasing my first investment property (all cash of course) and coordinating a financial peace class here in Lansing. More details will come on these things as I get them in the next couple weeks. On top of all this I am taking classes to make sure my real estate license stays active which is time consuming to say the least.

So I guess all in all I plan to be proactive. I am not going to really worry about my long lost boo to be, it gets draining after while and I really need my energy to stay up!! Bout to be 26 and I gotta look 26 not 36 ya hurd meh!!

Anyways for the next few weeks/months I am going to go hard core on getting things done, no distractions no drama no calls no nothing, just work work work. I am starting to realize that sometimes you have to go it alone, I have become much stronger in the last year and I think I have grown in ways I didn’t know I would or could. The year has been a really good one and I look forward to whats ahead in my social life, business life and work LIFE.

As always I will keep writing as I continue to grow and love the woman I am becoming.

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So I have been on the TMMO for 6 months now and I just found out a few days ago I will be getting extra hours on my second job. Yay right?? wrong. I find that as I get more intense about paying off debt, the people around me start to disrespect my athoratiii!! Meaning as I am unable to spend more time with the people I care about, they get mad. One thing people should know about me is that once I get focused on something its hard for me to quit until its over with. Fortunatley Finances is pretty much forever at the top of my list of things to keep in check. So as I make decisions, the money question is always first. I don’t use credit cards anymore so I can’t say oh let me go charge this or that. I have to plan for things way in advance and make sure I actually have the funds to do fun stuff. Now as I get outta debt I have told people over and over im not trying to have a bunch of fun (at least not at my expense). Taking time away from my job means taking away my paycheck and right now I just can’t walk away from money. I am not saying I am going to be a sticker for life not at all, but for the next year you can pretty much count on me to always be working. I think one year worth of sacrifice is very well worth taking a year of MY life to be uh whats the word??? oh yea an ADULT!! I have finally taken responsibility for the mess I made and only I can clean it up. All I ask of people around me is to respect the fact that im working hard. People get mad but then also don’t want you asking them for money? Again I can’t stress enough how much I love my family and friends but now is not the time to get your undergarments bunched up about me not being there.

I am done

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Yea So I wasn’t feeling like going to work today, so called in dead, I mean sick. I am gonna chill out finish reading “double platinumstalk blogs and take long naps. Yep this is the life, I kinda wish everyday could be this way except I’m on a tropical island sippin cosmopolitans and winkin at sexy men walking past me on the beach.

Oh and this jam of the week Algebra called “Run and Hide” I really feel like this some days…..

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