Yesterday I had the opportunity to watch this show called bridezilla. Its a show chronicling women planning a wedding all the way up until the day of. But they aren’t just regular women, they are “crazy women” You know they get loud, screamin, in your face the world revolves around me type of women. But this post isn’t about girls getting married actually, its about this one black woman on the show that they decided to follow and here is the scenario…..
23 years old, getting married to a guy who is 36 years old, not even 50% cute (worksite Nickisunshine). Now I don’t really mind young/old love that much but her marriage to this man was clearly based on the fact that he “spent money on her” typical young woman right. Here was the catch, during the show she quits her job and goes home to tell her mom and everybody else while soon to be hubby over hears her bragging. He questions her about it and her response was that she doesn’t need to work now that she is getting married *blank stare* Obviously he wanted to slap her but he held back. Long story short he went ahead and married her in spite of her stance on not working ever again.
Now I fully support stay at home moms, but NOT on the bases that you just don’t want to work and your man can handle it. The dude had money but he certainly was not ballin. I am finding more and more woman taking on this “no work” mentality and its starting to make me sick. This isn’t about womens liberation its about common damn sense, if you got 4 kids and you husband makes 60,000 your ass will struggle I don’t care how much of Dave you are listening to thats just not gonna get it long term.
If you are a gold digger and your sole purpose in life is to marry a man and not work I need you to get a clue, this is not acceptable, not today not tomorrow not ever…….
The weekend isn’t over but I couldn’t do the whole “Wait til Monday to post” type deal, so here I am on a Saturday night.
Yesterday I went out with out with this girl I met about 3 months ago at a night club named Vickie. I was out on a Friday night having some me time martini’s just enjoying the atmosphere and relaxing. Ya know you don’t always need ya friends to go out for drinks, and well truthfully here in Lansing I don’t have that many. Anyways while I was enjoying my evening by myself Vickie came in with a couple of guys. She was a seemingly tall blond girl with long hair, she wore this cute Grey pencil skirt, with a white top. Honestly she looked like a flight attendant which I thought was super cute. So her and her friends all order drinks and continued to have laughs and what looked like a good time.
So about 30 to 45 minutes something I didn’t expect to happen to me did. This girl outta know where gets up and says hi to me. “Girl are you here by yourself?” she asked “yes I am” I responded wondering why this white girl felt the need to come say something to me. “You are much to pretty to be sitting over here by yourself, you wanna come sit with us?” Now I must admit I was so flattered that she found me attractive but now im thinking she is gay as hell, but whatever its just a bar what the hey. So I join her friends and BOYFRIEND and proceeded to have a good time, me and Vicki have been friends ever since. But this is not the reason for my story I just had to give you some history.
So last night after work me, Vickie, Steve, and Matt decided to go out for drinks at the place we always hang. I don’t honestly have any white friends but these group of people are by far the coolest bunch I have ever met. Anyways so we are out having drinks and a good time and me and Vickie are talking about attractiveness/dating/being out in clubs meeting people. I told Vickie how I don’t really get approached by many guys, she was seemingly amazed by that, exclaiming how gorgeous i am n things of that sort. “you just gotta learn how to speak to guys and be friendly” “Yea Vickie but how?”. Let me show you, so we get up and head to the bathroom, “gotta pee first”. So we are continuing this convo in the bathroom and I have this girl explain to me how to mack. As we proceed to leave a loud knock comes from the door (this wasn’t planned). Its a unisex bathroom so some dude was knocking to make sure no one was in there. Vickie opens the door with a super big smile on her face and belts out “hi boys!” These two dudes standing in front of us responds with a excited hi as well. Vickie starts talking these guys up and finds out one of the dudes has a birthday, and 2 minutes later they are buying us drinks! I was in shock that she did all that in a matter of 5 minutes. “see its easy”.
Fast forward to the reason for this post. I am on the phone with my best friend explaining to her said events and how Vickie the white girl was able to do what she did and how impressed I was. ” Yea but see im not fake like that, those white girls are always in dudes faces and I just don’t do that” This is my best friend talking now. “D” I don’t see anything wrong or classless with the way she approached those men, all she did was started making small talk and was friendly and the convo gets icki right here.
Now me and my bestie disagree on a lotta things so add this to the list. She says that speaking to a dude and “Acting” nice is rather fake. First of all why is putting a smile on your face and saying Hi equal to being fake? Secondly she makes it seem like its a bad white girl thing that my friend Vickie is talking to these guys. I was pretty offended but her response is more typical. Me and my best friend have gone out to clubs on countless occasions, normally its US buying our own damn drinks, US sitting there jibber jabbing with each other good times right? well yea if your Gary Coleman and even he’s more fun than that. She believes that we should wait for men to come to us and well thats exactly what we been doing WAITING. Now before you YES YOU get all bent outta shape, Vickie never said act overly flamboyant or go outta your way, all she said was speak, and smile and compliment them which is exactly what she did. If it was to over the top I woulda known but we actually had a blast and I can’t say that about the times me and my bestie go out.
Are we as black women so uptight that we can’t even muster a hello to a dude? If thats true well this is one behavior I do not want to adopt. Imgine me having the confidence to make the choice about what man I want to approch and having the odds of him responding positively. I think its a confidence booster and a sure fire way to make sure ugmo isn’t all up in my face sayin “how u doin”. I am pretty annoyed by my best friends mentality and her “thats a white girl thing” assumption if it is so be it, and where can I sign up for this!
So of course as you all know by now via the infamous text what happen!! Yes I am no longer apart of the celibaties!!! I know I know I deemed myself vp of the pack and I preached n preached the celibacy law but, it was my birthday!!!!
So ya wanna know what, how, when, where, who, right? and it goes a little something like this.
For the past few weeks now me and my best friend had been planning to attend the second annual meet market event in down town detroit. Its kinda like a pre sweetest day hook up type deal and i figured it would tie in nice to my birthday celebrations. So day of the event I decided to leave early, had to get some things in order for the closing on the house I was buying so I packed up and was out of the office by 2:30. So im on my merry way down the highway and its raining so the drive is a little slow. I am rushing because I needed to be some where at 4:30. Long and behold I make it the the office and them mutha sucka’s closed at 4!! So im already kinda mad because the closing was to commence the next day and if these forms aren’t filled out ya girl was gonna be charged $100 a day, which i wasn’t trying to have happen. So im calling all these numbers in a panic to figure out what to do and my bestie chimes in on the other line, I couldn’t answer but usually when we don’t answer calls right away we just call right back. So 10 minutes later I am dialing her number and its going to voicemail. So I checked the message and here is what it says “hey mikki girl you know its raining kinda hard down here so you might not wanna come, you know i dont like to drive in the rain, anyways i am going to take a nap and i will call you went i wake up”
Ah!! wtf you mean you don’t wanna go cuz of rain? we aint driving cross country!! So now I’m really mad because two things are a bust, and NOBODY an i mean NOBODY is answering the phone including momma. I’m like ok shoot, im stuck here with no place to change clothes, charge my phone or nothing, and I look a hawt mess. Soooo thats when I made the call to you know who, banana republic (Worksite comeback girl)
I had texted him earlier in the day that since I was going out with my girl that I couldn’t see him like I said I would be able to that week but he never did respond. So when I called, he answered and I am yelling to him everything thats going on. “I’m pissed off!!!” why the hell would you turn off your phone when you didn’t even talk to me yet?” How stupid!!!!. Banana republic is on the other end trying to calm me down, “ya know you can change ova here if its that bigga deal” Well I don’t even wanna go now!!….
He was so calm and collective as always. “Mikki you’re not listening to me, its cool you can just come over here and what ever you decide you wanna do is fine”. So after 10 minutes of me yellin I finally said ok. Now mind you I look a hawt mess which normally I don’t care, but i cant be looking like a total rag muffin. So what do I do? Yep pull into the first salon on 7 mile I COULD FIND! yall know the good thing about Detroit is you can always find a stylist last minute and not be worried about them jacking up your hair. So they took me in and I finally got out of there about 8:30ish. I called B to let him know I was on my way.
So I finally made it and lookin half cute, nervous as ever because i aint seen this kat in a year, since my strike. He looks so sexy as always, gives me a big tight hug and we go up to his condo. I was looking around and everything was so nicely decorated paintings on the wall, pictures of mom and family, and of course the flat screen mounted on the wall. So he offers me something to drink as I made myself comfortable. He had the tv on CNN because the debate was about to come on. We sat and exchanged a few nicities and settle in to watch the last debate.
The thing was rather boring but I managed to sit throught it all 90 minutes!! Does Mcain look dead to any of yall? Ok anyways so we sit for a few after the debate watching some of the commentary until we finally decided its time to turn it off. “Did you ever get ahold of your girl?” “nah I called but no answer” BTW I did leave her a message letting her know where I was at.
So anyways we make it to the bed room and he hands me the remote and goes to light candles (you already know). “Can I ask you something? Lookin at me, “uh yea sure?” Why is it that every time you get around me you start acting shy? “huh?”. Now even though me and B have known each other for dang near 4 years, i always get goofy n shy around him, i dunno he just gives me butterflies like Micheal lol. So about bout 30 minutes of using the tv to avoid the question he comes n lays behind me in the bed, I rested my head back on his chest. “So why does it always seem like your not excited to see me?” Well for one you make me nervous and two well….. You don’t give off that happy vibe yourself, your just kinda like cool and mellow, and I feed off of that ya know? “So your saying I need to act excited? Thats not exactly what I mean. “Well I mean you never have to be nervous around me ya know… “yea i know”
So eventually I get a tshirt to change into, the first one was a lil on the short side for obvious reasons he wants to give me his 12 old cousin top, so i asked for another and it had much more lenth to it. He goes to take his shower after I come out of the bathroom. When he returns we looked at the tv a little more then eventually turned it off. By this time its past midnight maybe closer to two a.m.
So we laid there and chatted for EVER. I had asked him when was the last time he had sex, and I quickly asked him to not answer. Obviously the man doesn’t wait on me to come around to get the biz. So he went on to explain about being single, and how people really need to not worry about what others are doing if they aren’t committed to them. We got into a long debate (a lot about the blog topic yesterday).
After the said convo, I started to understand what comeback was saying about multi tasking. Shame on me for having to listen to a dude for it to actually sink in to my thoughts, but he pretty much explained it to me exactly as comeback did. I don’t like the idea of sharing him but this night I didn’t care he was mine for the moment. We exchanged very interesting dialog about how we differ on relationships issues and how we are alike. He did say until he commits to someone his status will be “single”. And it made me want to really adopt that mantra, sorry comeback he just sounded good when he was saying it lol.
Me and B have been off and on for a long time (fwb), and those who I talk to know my back n forth with the issue. I have always liked B more like lusted for B, and its been that way for a long time. So after talking until 4am we started kissin……..
I was thinking about my club members and how i didn’t wanna let yall down, but the other part of me was like gurl u betta get it!!! So as anticipated he did exactly what I wanted him to, kissing every part I mean EVERY PART of my body, dude even went a step further and asked me to instruct him on how I liked it!! Now that was a first for me and was like wow, and i fell right in line. B always took his time when it came to the act of sex, i never felt rushed, or pressured everything just came so natural. So we put on our best performances and since I had already crossed the CLINTON lines, i figure Id go all the way. “I want to feel you inside of me” what?, not exactly hearing what i said i repeat myself “i want to feel you inside of me” what!!?!?? damn way to ruin me trying to sound sexy n thangs “I WANT YOU INSIDE OF ME” ooooh. duh right?? So he proceeds to protect us, and well it was a night of fun lovin…… (technically morning) First it was me on top then we switched, and being the beast I am, I decided to figure out how doing kegels for ever and a day would work on him. I was squeezing the crap out of his pen*s and shortly after it was a rap. Ok so its like this, everytime i get with him I find some way to try to turn him out ie try something new and he follows me and always does something different that shocks me as well. The squeezing thing was a good call because had i not had a thought to do that we mighta been going til 9am lol. “what happen?” as i listen to B let out a sigh of relieve. “I came thats what” I wasn’t in the least upset that i didnt last super long but i was glad that my exercising did the trick and it kinda had me on cloud nine there for a sec.
So we lay in a hot mess of sweat and drift off to sleep as long as we can. I finally woke up at 8:30 after hearing 50 different alarms, and he got a call from work that forced him out of the bed. So I get dressed and kiss him as he is on the phone signaling that i am going, he follows me to the door, and hugs me….
The end
I must say I learned a lot about me, and him last night and it was a very good experience for me. I do plan to adopt some form of *multitasking* B and Comeback are right, we shouldn’t be attaching ourselves to people we hardly know. So I will start dating more, not worrying about who B is with and worry about what I do when I am with him (and there will be more times), and continue to move forward with other quality men. Its gonna take a helluva dude to get my mind off B but until then, I can now HONESTLY embrace what we have for what it is, SEX. Now im not gonna go acting all hoish with other menz but I definitely will explore my options much more than I have done over this year. I actually can’t wait to really start dating, i can see my self saying “nigga im single ya hurd!!!” ok not exactly like that. But as of this moment, Mikki is free!!!
So yall gonna need a new vp cuz IM OUT!!
here is the song by Rahsaan Patterson who i had the wonderful chance to meet. He will be the voice ending a year long journey. IT FEELS GOOD!! Now let me go ask the lord for forgiveness!!
p.s and i did close on my house today and I am officially a home owner!! wooopeeeeee!!!
So over the past couple weeks I have been dropping hints about banana republic and how i been wanting to drop out of the celibacy club for him. I never really (read ever) talked about the guy much because 1. he reads this and 2 well he reads this. You all have been in a situation before where you know someone isn’t right for you, yet you keep going back to them for whatever reason?
Well over the weekend I discovered something about myself when I went out on a date with “C”. Now “C” happens to be very sweet, and someone i could see myself with long term which is good right? Not if you constantly have some other man on the brain. I was thinking about banana republic and how we used to get down long ago and I remember details like yesterday.
See i like the new guy a lot, but the fear I have is the unknown of our sexual relationship. I haven’t been with anyone in over year and the last time I did I was let down. So now i got this thing stuck in my head about not wanting to sleep with dudes because of the unknown. See with banana republic there was never any question. I loved everything about him, from the way he kissed me, to how he held me when it was all over. I shouldn’t be holding every/any man to his standard but i cant help myself. What do i look like thinking of some other man while im with another? The feeling honestly sucks, and I need to figure out how to solve it like asap…
Actually I know what the solution is but its so shallow i don’t want to mention it….
I arrived in Baltimore, to visit my boo…. I love that man…. Still do. It was late, so we really didn’t have time for much, but bed… he had to go to work in the morning, so that cut out the sexy…. As soon we got there, he brought my suitcases upstairs, I start to get ready for bed….
Go to brush my teeth… he comes in the bathroom with me…. starts to lift up my dress… I’m still brushing my teeth, can I finish? “No, he said… and enters me from behind….. bangs me to no end…. all while I’m brushing my teeth.
So thanks to QB and her rant on Friday, she gave me a grandieolie idea to start what will be our first
Throwback Thursday!!
Yah know being celibate can be hard, but who said we couldn’t enjoy memories of what was, and whats to come. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, I am referring to the LAST time. Yep the last time you did “it”. Was it the worst? or the best? was that the last time he threw you up against the wall and make your whole body quiver? Did you need a preggers test afterwords? lol.
In Honor of Throwback Thursday I am going to let everyone share the last time they gave the biz and to make it more fun we are going to play old school jams in conjunction. I know you got a song you can link to that day and we wanna hear it! So I will be the first to start….
It was a cold November evening. I had just gotten off work and I called“O” the fwb, to let him know I would be on my way a little later. I had asked him to cook us a nice dinner and to have it ready when i got there. So I drove about 45 minutes to his house and when he opens the door I didn’t smell any food cooking. “what happen to dinner?” Oh yea about that I just got home. Slightly annoyed yet enamored by his sexiness I dismissed the mishap and proceed to ask what we would eat. “Pizza?”, Yea sure. So we ate our pizza while I sat on his lap at the computer desk looking at pictures he had taken. He does some phatography aside from his full time job. Anywhoot so after dinner, I decided to get ready for bed. I actually had no intentions on having sex but see what had happen was. We was laying in the bed and I heard him next to me giving himself a hand job. Due to the freak I am For some odd reason I wasn’t turned off by this, and I proceeded to lean over to his side of the bed….. “do you need some help?” “Yea”, ok and well without all the graphics yall know what happen from there lol. Needless to say it wasn’t the best sex I had ever had, he actually fucks like a jack rabbit in order to prevent from coming so quickly which sucks that he has no self control. However his head game is/was the best I have ever received in my entirely (my word) life. Incase you fellas didn’t know it DOES require skill and he got the gold metal for that. So the song that came to mind was Envogue and I figured what better way to kick off the festivities with “Don’t let go”
This Throwback comes from 80’sBaby and I love the Jam she picked
The last time…..
It was with my ex… The guy who took my virginity…The only guy that I’ve slept with……
So we initially stopped having sex in April of 06….. And then somehow of January of 07 we became cool again and then we started spending time together again….Eventually it grew to be long distance and he came and visited me in August of 07 and it was cool…. There was no sex and we just spent quality time together… And then he came and visited me in October of 07.. And for some reason I felt like things were going good between us and I let my guard down… We were doing our shower ritual together which started out innocent because it had just kind of become our thing…..And then one thing led to another….. And I will admit that it was me who kind of initiated it…I uttered those 7 words… Let’s get out and grab a condom!!!! And then we did the deed….. But what’s funny is I don’t even remember it being all that great… He knows how I am so he was being all nervous just kind of like he didn’t know whether he should continue or not because he knew I could possibly tell him to quit at any moment.. But after it happened it was a regret and whenever he tried to talk about it I was just like what you talkin’ bout… I ain’t claimin that…!!!!
So that’s the last time that I’ve did the deed and that’s the last time that I’ve seen him too…
Do you remeber when you were in 3rd grade and you had your 1st crush? It was Anthony Johnson for me, we called him A.J. Anthony was the cutes by in the 3rd grade and I swear til this day he had a crush on me. How did I know? Because he always used to pick fights with me thats how I know. I remeber the day I got sent to the principles office for pushing him when he snatched the erraser out of my hand. Yall know errasing the board back then was the best job to have. Anyways Now days I think men have a hard time STILL showing they are interested or better yet they can’t even catch a clue when someone is interested in them. Why is it like this I wish someone would tell me. I really think from now on I am going to start acting like Anthony did and see if i can get any responses.
Does anybody know what I am talking about or is it just me?
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