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Posts Tagged ‘online dating’

As you all know I will be documenting my dating experiences on my blog. Today I am super tired from the weekend so bare with a sista!

Friday night, I went to salsa class in my attempts to “leave the house” as the book (how to find a man worth keeping) states, your husband is not going to fall out the sky so get active. I have to admit just leaving my house and doing something out of the regular was extremely fun. I got a chance to dance with this super cute 2520 which im shocked i even found him attractive. I believe since I started to go by the “no expectations rule” I was able to step out side of my 6’0 chocolate brown brotha idea.

I am suppose to be getting 5 numbers a week, keep in mind I don’t actually have to go on a date, i just have to have prospects. I must admit that this might be harder that I thought. I realized this weekend I am a bit shy when it comes to speaking up, probably something I knew but just never really had to face at any given time. Now that I am basically forced to get phone numbers i HAVE to speak up!! Unfortunately I didn’t get the guys number in class but hopefully my confidence will be up by friday because I am most def going back!!

The other experience I had was with a guy I had met online. We had been taking for a few days and while I was very interested in him he was just a little to “thirsty” as my friend holly would say lol. For a minute I was intrigued buy his persistence but then I realized that I am not suppose to be exactly “falling” for anything for at least 6 months. Needless to say I worked up enough courage to tell him that I am going to be “multi tasking my azz”. He didn’t like that and told me he wouldn’t be speaking to my from that point on because he was looking for a wife like yesterday lol.

I am glad I was able to stand up to the guy and let him know my true feelings. So many times we get caught up in the fairly tales of dating and love that we forget to check out the “True picture”. Underneath the surface of this guy was a controlling, overly dramatic, ego driven brotha. When I took off my sunny shades, I saw the true picture and it was NOT good. I pray that I will continue to see the trueness in people as I move about this process. So here are a few questions we must ask are self when we are getting involved with someone of the opposite sex.

1. Am I willing to settle for fear, there might not be something better?

2. How far will I allow men to pressure me before I give in?

3. Am I believe truthful about EVERYTHING I believe in.

what say you?

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So I met this guy online a couple weeks or so ago, and last night we finally decided to meet up. I am not exactly sure what it is about me and online dating, but its been apart of my life for a good while now (actually I do know but its a longer story). As most people think its rather strange to date online, but I must save I have only had one extremly odd date which lookin back its actually funny let me tell u this story then I will share the date from last night.

Ok so I was on this site called blackpeoplemeet.com This was one site I had actually decided to pay for (10 bucks a month) The site ended up being a smörgåsbords for people with kids and i really couldn’t see paying for that. They shoulda changed it to blackpeoplewithmultiplekidsmeet.com because that was more of what it was. Anyway so i met this rather dashing man which also had a kid but It was ok. He picked me up from my house (please dont insert how dangerous this is) and we headed out to the olive garden. He wasn’t exactly my cup of tea but he was in my opinion “doable”. So anyways we get to the resturant and everything is going great, we laugh, joke, gaze into each others eyes and all that good stuff. So durring dinner he made this comment I thought was rather funny said ” u know the only reason I am on this date is so I can sleep with u” I laughed so hard wine almost came out my nose, I mean I knew he was telling the truth but still it sounded funny with him saying it like that. So I was like “yea eventually we may” U know we can pretty much tell weither we want to sleep with some one right when we meet them the “attraction meter”.

After dinner he asked what I wanted to do and I said I wasn’t ready to go home, so he suggested his place and I agreed it was fine. His home was pretty nice, it was toys everywhere from his son, which made me kinda warm n fuzzy inside. Anyways we sat n talked about kids, ex’s and all that. He told me about how he got custody of his son by deeming his baby momma crazy, which I thought was cool cuz not many men actually go through the trouble. After talking I ventured off into the living area where a collection of music was sitting, prince was on the top shelf and maxwell followed. So I flipped though the collection and we talked about our likes in music and When I moved into the kitchen I leaned up against the counter top. He put his arms around me and started kissin on me. At first it was cool then he got a lil overly aggressive so I pushed him away lil. He was like don’t u like me?? wait let me rewind to where this argressivness came from….

so yea we are sitting on the couch and I asked the stupidest question known to all men on a first date. and it was “So?? What do you think about sleeping with someone on the first date”. Now!!! I was not by any means trying to imply that I do this, but OBVIOUSLY he took this as “she wants me now” and yea that was dumb on my part but who knew??

So back to kitchen.

“yea I like u but u movin a lil to fast bruh”

so he backs off a bit and I told him it was late and I needed to go home to get my meds (I do have asthma) so my lack of breathing bailed me out that night.

So back in the car things are cool again so I felt nice enough to invite him inside again bad idea I know. anyways I turn on some slow jams and eventually we make it to my bedroom and we are laying down talking. I had informed him that nothing was going to happen but he figured otherwise since he was now layin in my bed with no shirt on but I some how still thought he was smart enough not to go there again. So we are laying and talking and I say so ” whats your idea of romance” and he goes “yep I see where this is headed” and proceeds to get up to leave.

I say umm where ya going?? He says home. I say why? and it goes down hill from here…..

He was like yea so its obvious your not going to sleep with me tonight so I should be leaving. me “blank stare” “Huh??”

let me let you in on something my dear, see im one of the good guys and its obvious that you failed to realize this so I have to go. See most women I meet I sleep with on first dates and since YOU yes YOU brought up the question about sleeping with a guy on the first date that it was on and poppin.

I said man I am soooooooooooo sorry I lead you to think that but it was just a question!!!!

“YEA but wtf would you ask a question like that??

Again my bad but I mean are u seriously mad about it?

Yea for the simple fact that women like you let wack ass men run all over you and play you and u sleep with them like its nothing but then A good guy comes along and we get no love….

But I just met u today are you kidding?

Do you know who I am? I am mutha fuckin super man!!! I am the best nigga u will ever meet in your life!! My ex was smart enough to know it so u should be too!

I am sorry boo im not your ex……

(ok this argument goes on for another hour) eventually he left, but I was in true shock, superman?? really??? I can’t believe he said that. So he dumped me because i didn’t put out on the first night. and that was by far the craziest date ever.

So back to last night. I was pretty much determined to keep our date as simple and light hearted as possible. Normally my first dates consist of talking about ex’s and bad break ups and people we hate and why we hate them. This time was different even though he tried to talk about his ex a little I quickly changed the conversation. We ended up getting fast food (Which I offered to pay for my half) He really thought that was nice of me (Since I actually pulled out the cash) but he paid for it and said thanks for the offer. We went to the bowling alley and bowled two games. It was actually pretty fun even though he beat me twice.

He brought me home and we ended with hugs. I really dunno what he thought of me but I guess I will know later.

I am trying to take a difference approach to dating overall. Not to get so caught up in who it is and just have a good time which I did. “D” says im growing up, I say its about time!

Mikki

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