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Posts Tagged ‘God’

ggenie
Hello fello bloggers!! Yes I have been gone for a minute but I am back again as always. A lot of things have taken place in the last two or three months but I can say most have been positive changes which going on 27 in two weeks I can appreciate the good things.

Recently I got into a conversation with a friend about my stance to become celibate until marriage. Its not something that I really felt comfortable with speaking on at first but I realized the things that have happened in my life because of this has had a major impact. Since the decision I have come closer to my faith. Its been a challenging change to say the least. Not so much that I miss chexing but more about what it represents.

For a while I had been struggling with surrendering myself to the Lord. I didn’t feel like (at first) that just because I gave up chex that my whole world would turn upside town. I thought I would basically say “God I did this for you, now its your turn to bless me with a good man” Its only until resently I realized what “Dying to self” actually meant. When I made my decision to be celibate I thought I had already died lol. Really I hadn’t given myself to God because I was still “Waiting” to be blessed.

Over the last few weeks I have been learning about giving myself “Totally” to God and at first I was scared. The thought of having to basically stop hoping, wishing, praying that God would just magically send me someone. I kept hearing single people should serve God. What does that mean exactly, because I am single I have to be this way for life? when is ok to have a man?? All these thoughts raced through my head and I NEVER wanted to accept that this could be my life FOREVER. I can’t say I am 100% over the “Idea” of love and marriage. But I have slowly come to realize that God isn’t my genie in a bottle. Even though he puts “Conditions” on us doesn’t mean we can treat him in the same manor simply because we are fickle people and change like the wind. I know as much as I try to keep my promise I can sometimes fall short. God NEVER fails…..

I want to exemplify what it means to “die to self” giving myself totally to God without any worries of my future. I don’t want to worry if I get married. If I don’t get married I still will remain celibate because this is what is required of me. I still pray God blesses me but I no longer dwell or let my life revolve around “marriage”.

Have you ever thought of putting “conditions” on God tit for tat?? Have you ever thought of dying to yourself. Do you think you could do that if God never gave you the desire of your heart?

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Last night I was laying in bed, thinking about the day I could call the Dave Ramsey show and scream “I’m Debt Freeeeee!!”. I started to wonder what I might say to Dave when he goes through his normal questionnaire and it went something like this…..

Dave: We have Mikki from Detroit on the line “Whats up Mikki”

Me: Hi Dave how are you?

Dave: “Better Than I Deserve” “How can I help?”

Me: Well Dave I am calling to let you know I’m debt free!

Dave: Alrightttttttt!!! “How much did you pay off?”

Me: $35,000 In 18 months

Dave: Wow making what kind of money??

Me: I started out at $35k a year, I picked up a part time job and also started working my real estate business and now I am half way through the year at 55k!

Dave: Wow thats amazing, so what made you decide to get out of debt a year and a half ago?

Me: Umm well, I had just turned 25 and had just purchased a house, I was driving a 20,000 car making about 28,000 at the time. In December I got into a car accident and smashed the front end of my car, thankfully no one was hurt but, the car had no insurance on it. At the time I was driving an hour each way to work and one thing after another started to happen. I almost lost my job, and the car ended up being taken from me because I couldn’t afford the payments. I was so overwhelmed with the new house and bills that I thought about taking my life. So I was sitting at work one morning and my mom called me, she said hey they are offering FPU at a local church up here in Detroit, maybe you should check into classes in Lansing (Which is where I work). I was like ok here she goes with this Dave talk stuff again! But at that point I pretty much had nothing more to lose, I really did feel like Job in the bible and that I couldn’t lose any more than I had already. So I searched for my zip code and found a class at a church that actually started that very next day Dave.

Dave: Wow thats amazing

Me: Yea so I called the coordinator and shared my story and he said the class would be perfect for me, and since then I have never looked back.

Me: And Dave you know how you say Murphy moves in right when you start the program, well he did because about 3 months later I was forced to move out of an apartment that I was living in with a friend of mine, I had been saving for BS1 and I had to us that money to find a place. Had I not started the program I would have been a total wreck when all that happen.

Dave: Wow what an amazing story Mikki, so what would you say the hardest part of it was??

Me: I would say being made fun of but after a while It didn’t bother me anymore.

Dave: So what was the last thing you paid off.

Me: Sallie Mae

Dave: Ah good ole Sallie getting kicked out of the spare bedroom.

Me: Yup

Dave: So now that you have been through the process, what do you say the key to success is”

Me: The key is have an accountability partner and being Gazelle intense, I became friends with someone on MTMMO His name is Brad “Hi Brad” We have become really good friends and I think having someone to share that experience with you is the greatest thing, but it doesn’t work if they aren’t as Gazelle intense and Brad is the poster child for the Gazelle. Also Dave I want to thank my FPU coordinator and everybody on the Total Money Make Over forums, Those are the coolest people around!!!

Dave: Ahahaha thats awsome Mikki, so your 27 now with out a payment in the world except for the house, you are so weird now!

Me: Yep I know I feel weird!

Dave: ahaha, so what do you say to those 25-30 year olds struggling to make it?

Me: I would say they should know they are not alone and to pray as much as you can. God doesn’t put more on us than we can bear, and you have to put your trust in God 100%. The program gave me hope for my future because before I didn’t see my life being anything, but now I see a bright future and I can show others that they can do it to. Its important to have friends and family around you that love you because if it not been for my mom, and my best friend I would not be here today.

Dave: Mikki thats great advice, so you ready to count it down?

Me: Yea, 3, 2, 1 I’M DEBT FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Dave: Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa That is how its done folks!!!

(insert tears)

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Ok by now everybody must know that if I am not on a quest to find love I am on a quest to get money. Over the last 2 months the issues have been about relationships. I have had my run ins with the shall nots, have nots, and will nots, of the opposite sex pool but recently I encountered something that right now I can’t figure out, which is why I finally decided to post about it.

About a week or 2 ago I started praying. I asked God to send me a man, and I listed every quality known to man that I thought he should have. Now this list has been tweaked over time cuz before I was leaving ish out and well that didn’t go so well most days lol. But this list I was sure I had down packed. So a few days later I get an email and here is what it said

Wow hi you are a hard person to find!! I have been looking for you for about 3 or 4 years. I hope you rember me I worked with you a while ago. Well I am looking forward to talking to you hopefully soon!!!!”

There was a picture beside it and when I clicked on it I thought?? hmmm do I know this dude, stalker perhaps??. He didn’t say where exactly, so I attempt to remember every fine dude at work cuz u know ya girl won’t let a sexy sexy slip away so fast with passing me first lol. So I spent about 1 hour trying to recall every job in my life and it hit me like a 1 year old throwing his sippy cup going straight for my head!!!! WALLY WORLD!!! yes!!! I meet J at walmart.

J was a cool kat, rather dorky in my opinion but cool. We kicked it with each other on a regular basis for the short time I spent there but never on a serious tip. I honestly thought nothing of it back then, I was all of 22 or 23 trying to stay above water on bills. So almost 3 years later J finds me and we spent the next few days talking about whats been going on. I found myself opening up to him about everything and he was extremly calm and understanding about my situation. He also went on to inform me that all this time he has been looking for me, asking around to see if anybody knew me. Well I don’t hang in lansing so that odds of anybody knowing me would be 1 in a million. I was taken back that he was trying to find me and felt a bit flattered…………. so the story goes on.

Since that day me and J have been in communication. We had 2 rather fun dates and we talk every day now. He is the sweetest guy. On the scale of attraction he is definantly not ugly, tall (6’3) a lil skinnier than most, caramel completion, and glasses, kinda still has the dorkiness to him but nothing that can’t be worked on with a couple new outfits. He opened ALL of my car doors on the dates and footed the bills and didnt ask for ass in return lol. To me thats a BIG step from the norm lol. The other big thing about him was that he talked about the exact same financial goals and opinions as me, about being frugal, and spending less money, the man is even almost done paying off his house! I mean I really couldn’t have asked for him to sound much better than he did…… (deep sigh of relief)

So you ask why am I conflicted?? Well because sometimes tho I AM not a bible thumper. I can be extremely spiritual (got it from mom) I always analyze if something is of God or if its the devil playing tricks on my mind. I was thinking like maybe its another one of the devils tricks to get me off track, my mind went pretty crazy from there. I was able to talk to my best friend and she was very insightful, she told me only time will tell whats to come of this and she was right. So I am trying to play it cool and not get caught up in what may or may not be. Also J has 2 kids (Same mom) But I remember asking God for a man with NO kids, so why would he give me a man with 1 let alone 2??? I know there is a reason for everything and even tho no kids was on my deal breaker list, I had to remember why and that was because i had a fear that the guy wasnt taking care of them. J actually has custody of both children and the man worked his ass off to get them which says TO ME a lot about the type of guy he is (when it comes to taking responsibility for them that is). Who knows maybe I can look past the children?? I just don’t know about all this.

I do know I am over such n such from the last post!!!!! I believe God sends people in your life for a reason. So J why are you here????

On with new things!!!

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