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Posts Tagged ‘come to jesus right now’

Its 1 day after the fight of the century took place at mik’s apt in Lansing. Honestly I am so emotionally drained from all the madness that it doesn’t make sense right now.

The fight took place one day after I discovered I had been duped into doing something I didn’t want to do yet again. Yall know I am slow sometimes so I didn’t realize what had happen until the next day. My reaction tho was not pretty. I went off on those to girls for the first time since they had been living in the apartment and right then it felt that no one was listing to any one. We yelled, called each other names and both had a line of defense for every attack. After all of the yelling back n forth we decided we would do our best to respect each others space and that was that.

Later on I got on the phone to vent to my mom and she really lit into me sayin I should be the mature one and try to mentor to these girls because maybe they need help. She went on tryin to explain a story about a girl who used to be my friend but eventually got into a big argument with my mother about respect. After that day the girl never spoke to my mom, and she ended up going off to have babies and have some what of a hard life. My mom obviously felt like she didn’t reach out enough when my friend at the time was acting out because of stress at home.

I understood my mom but she was basically telling me to take on these girls possible problems because they are cryin out for help. If that was true, I honestly don’t think I would be up for the task and would not want that burden on me, since I have to much of my own stuff going on. I admit I have a lot of growing to do and because of this, I can’t mentor to girls that probably need more help than I can give.

The other thing I feel is that I had to stand up for myself and not let these girls continue to walk all over me and last night I did that. Everything can’t always be rosy and there will always be hard times in life. All I can do is learn from this and do my best to make sure It won’t happen again.

In gooder news I am on day 14 of my fast. I never considered myself to be a stress eater but this week has truly been a test of will. My boyfriend has been extremely supportive of my eating habits and he wants me to stay committed to finishing what I started even with all the stress. I am thankful for him because I would have thrown in the towel a couple days ago. Our relationship as of today (cuz it changes like the wind) is going good. We got a lot out in the open and the more time I spend with him and talk to him, I see that he really cares about me.

He did ask me to live with him but I explained that I wouldn’t be living with another man until I was married. He respects my decision and we went on about the business of finding him an apartment. We found a really nice one that we both like and hopefully he will be moved in next week. Its a big step for him to move to my city and its going to be interesting to see how we will pan out. I remember when I moved here for a guy and that move changed my life. My prayer for s and I is that we will both grow with each other and both end up happy together.

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