So there I was sitting on my bed thinking about that argument between me and John Doe. I recalled just about every word I said to him and I figured out why it just would not have worked. Yup you guessed it I am spoiled!!! Not so much in a sense of gimmie this or gimmie that (Well maybe) But when you been single for so long and you finally meet someone you automatically think spoil me (well atleast I do).
I always feel this sense of entitlement when I get into new relationships, maybe I should feel like that?? I think the difference between other men and John was that he felt the same way. Maybe all men feel that way but I have never meet one who acted like it. Imagine always being the one who gives gives gives only to never get back. Maybe thats how John D felt in his relationships and so when it came to me, he figured well no more giving its time for me to get!! I wouldn’t be rationalizing his actions on a normal day but I kinda put myself in his shoes, I still think he had way to much bitchassness going on but now I know why…….
Are you spoiled??
Every day all day. I don;t make NO BONES about it. But what some men describe as spoiled I call being attentive. I went out this weekend with an old flame…like OLD FLAME.
to some men spoiled means that you actually EXPECT that he EXHIBIT that you are interested IN ONLY ME for a long term committment.
Now I also have a problem with not knowing how to act when a man genually exhibits it. But thats another blog for a nother day.
But those men who are quick to throw out the spoiled tag are men who are always talking about “who got next” who did it the last time. thats childish to me. Because if you are a man , there are certain things expected from you and the pursuit.
“But those men who are quick to throw out the spoiled tag are men who are always talking about “who got next” who did it the last time. thats childish to me. Because if you are a man , there are certain things expected from you and the pursuit.”
You exactly on point. I couldn’t have said it better. I don’t know what be wrong wit em…..
^^ the GAME.
but my date with the flame confirmed that a man will do what he must to show and prove. All that other bs goes out the door with a certain amount of seriousness.
If you don’t set expectations, you won’t get anything in return. A lot of times men will call us spoiled because we seem to be doing well by ourselves and they may not be able to contribute something to keep us in what we’re accustomed to. There’s nothing wrong with being spoiled. My dad set a good example of what I should expect from a man and so I expect that from men—yes I’m spoiled. Shoot, I spoil myself; so for me I think a guy should be able to at least try to do things to please me. I’m not selfish though. I like to do things for the guy I’m with as well. It’s not a one-sided thing…but on the flipside, I am not going to go out of my way to “spoil” a man when he does absolutely nothing for me. Just in case a man is reading this, what I’m talking about is not necessarily material things. Spoiling a person is more than buying someone something–it’s being attentive to their needs in many ways.
“Spoiling a person is more than buying someone something–it’s being attentive to their needs in many ways”
This is the part I was trying to address that got lost in translation. He said in the “courting phase” We should have been on equal ground, I didn’t agree for the simple fact that it was HE who chose to return into my life he was sayin that was rude for me to thihnk like that, also like comeback said it was like he was keeping a score card, and well grown folk just shouldn’t be doing that. He was like what about that time 2 years ago when i took you out!!! I was like I don’t even remember 2 minutes ago let alone 2 years!!!
lmao
brotha woulda had to work harder and he didn’t like that.
“brotha woulda had to work harder and he didn’t like that.”
He has some deep rooted issues…good thing you see that now.